Hey all,
Have just got out of a 4 year relationship, where my ex partner felt unable to cope with her own life and everything going on with her and that she had gotten comfortable with relying on me for emotional support which is something that she did not want and believed that breaking up completely (no exclusivity) would help this.
About a few weeks into the breakup she calls me after radio silence between us (i am starting to feel better and it isn’t the thing on my mind 24/7) and then says that she still wants to try and date in the future to see if we can work again.
But what she mentioned this time was that she felt she had lost the sexual spark after about 2 years, so for 2 years she didn’t want to make out with me or have sex with me truly. She believed that it was a phase and that in general, because she believed that i was perfect for her in every other way it was not a dealbreaker and that she was willing to sacrifice that.
I never actually knew this until a few days ago and it hurt me so much hearing that she lost her sexual attraction towards me. And that dating in the future would mainly be to see if that sexual attraction would come back. I learnt that about a week after we had broken up, both heartbroken, She had got with and made out with someone else as well, obviously she is single and i have no control over what she does with other people but it just hurt to hear that.
I feel hurt by this all, as she never really told me in the relationship the true reason it was always just ‘I have a low sex drive’ and I’m not sure what i want and whether i should date again. I never had any problem or issues with my attraction towards her or how i functioned as a person on my own or in a relationship and because this is all out of my control i just feel a bit helpless.
It hurts hearing someone say that they love you and that you’re perfect for them but then all of this comes out.
I am so confused as to what to think and any advice would be appreciated