Boyfriend being forgetful

[anxiousanimal]

I want to know if you ladies also experience this. My BF forgets things a lot. I will say something one day and he will forget the next.

Example: We will be deciding what to watch at the cinema. Choosing between film A and film B. We will choose film A but I will say how I would still like to watch film B. Today I got a text saying how he's off to go and see film B with his mates.

I know this may be a really petty thing to get annoyed about. But it's making me feel like he's not listening or caring about me.

Please give me some guidance !!

Perhaps thats not a good example OP as youre just coming across as a bit needy? Youre seeing film A with him, surely he can go with his mates for film B?

Yeah I didn't explain it very well. I meant as in I suggested the both of us should see film B together

I think it’s fine for him to see another film with friends. You both chose film A to see first. Why would he have to see film B with you as well?

It sounds like you didn't really choose because you chose both. If he understood it the way I did it sounds like you decided to see film A together and then he went to film B with his mates as a result of that.

It sounds like you want to control who he sees all films with?

Did you compromise on A to keep him happy? ie you really wanted to see film B but he was keener to see A so you agreed to see A - so now it feels like a slap in the face

Is that the only example of him being forgetful? Did you expect him to tell his friends that he wasn't allowed to see the film because you wanted to see it with him? If so then I think that's very unreasonable of you. Can't you go to the movies and see it with your friends?

@myidentitymycrisis I don't want to control him at all. It's more that I suggested we see film B another time and we agreed on that. And now he's gone to see it with other people.

@Lunde I tend to struggle with decision due to anxiety reasons, so my BF helps me with that. Due to this we agreed on seeing both but chose film A as the first one

@SillySpaniel I hope I don't sound too unreasonable. I probably should have given more context in the originally post. I think it's more that we agreed to see film B and now he's seeing it with other people. I love when he hangs out with his friends, it's just in this instance I'm not so happy about what he's doing.

I think it might just be a misunderstanding

In this example, I think you’re being a little unreasonable. Whilst you might want to also see the other film with him and told him so, he’s just as entitled to want to see it with friends. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t listened to you. He doesn’t have to do everything you want just because you’ve said so. Why couldn’t you go to see the film with your own friends?

But this surely can’t be the only or best example?

And yes, I have a forgetful / lackadaisical boyfriend. I pick my battles, to be honest. If I think he’s actually broken plans we had to do something to do something else, I tell him I’m a bit put out. If it’s just something I’ve mentioned in passing, I’m not fussed. But we both have a lot of friends so it’s generally no big deal to replan with someone else.

If my friends are going to the cinema to see that film I wouldn't decline an invite on the basis that I might see it with my partner another time. I'd just not go with him.

@OP, I think you are being overly needy here. This is really a non event. I think it would be healthier to focus less on your boyfriend and more on learning to make decisions alone. It isn't sustainable to need help choosing what film to see. Have you any proper support? CBT?