Just ended my marriage

[Judy2019]

I've just told my husband I cant be with him anymore.

Theres a long history of erectile dysfunction and I have been very patient. Theres also a long history of porn usage.
I just cant do it to myself anymore.
I have felt so rejected for a long time. Things have come to a head lately because he hasn't done anything about his ed - hes had various tablets which have stopped working, he had a urology appointment in October which was cancelled and hes taken him until now to chase it up. He wanted to try a pump. I bought one 6 weeks ago and it's still I the box. I just feel like hes not really falling over himself to get things sorted.
A few weeks ago we had a lovely night out, i dressed up, he was very up for it, he took a tablet and nothing happened. I felt like shit. anyway the next day I found out he had looked at porn when I'd gone to work. We had a talk at that point I told him how it had made me feel, he said he wouldn't look at it again

I told him tonight that we need to talk. I've been so down lately because of it all. I told him how I feel, I had a couple of glasses of wine and started asking him about the porn.

He said he was still looking at it, he found sex boring (hes never really been into sex, once twice a month before the ed) and that porn was more exciting.

I just cant live the rest of my life with a man who doesn't want to have sex with me, but will look at porn at any opportunity. I think it would be soul destroying.

Hes promised so many times to give it up and concentrate on our relationship but he never has.
I told him I couldnt be with him anymore that he doesn't want anything to change and that I cant put up with that.
Hes gone out and I'm left here wondering what the hell to do? Have I done the right thing??

I think so. I mean only you know the answer to that but...I dont see why you should behave to live a sexless marriage to a man who doesnt seem to care much about your desires but will slap his own thing to everything else that moves apart from you.

*continue to live

For me, it’s his attitude that is the problem. If he were making robust attempts to sort this out I’d be more sympathetic towards him but it appears that he’s simply decided that you’re not going to have a sex life, and that’s that.

So sorry OP.

Yuk. Yep, he'd be gone

I think you did the right thing. It's not about porn, it's about the complete lack of respect or consideration.

Thank you, I feel the same. That I'd have much more empathy if he was trying to sort things out. Hid ed is due to diabetes but he doesn't look after himself and still drinks and smokes. I've tried for so long. I also remember something else he said- I asked if he would ever stop looking at porn, he paused and said no probably not. That was all I needed!

Sounds like an addiction to porn and any kind of addiction is reckless OP. Lots of people watch porn and continue to have a loving and sex filled relationship, but in your DH's case, he has issues with it - he's abusing it if you like.
Sorry OP, but you had to do something. Hope you're okay, you'll feel relieved at some point and much happier I'm sure.

Similar situation to you but I don't know if my hubby watches porn. But to be honest I use a bullet vibrator to have a bit of fun. He is perfect in every other way so it's become less of an issues for me. I am sure he is not cheating as he spends all his time when not working with me and we have a lovely banter filled relationship. I wouldn't swap him for anyone else x