Finally over

[Egg4]

Hi,
Long time lurker on here and it's really helped,
I've just ended a relationship with a man I was with for 3 years, both separated with children, at the beginning everything was great we talked about the future and he seemed to be completely in love with me,

It eventually turned totally different he became controlling, spent all of his time at his ex wife's house with the kids "available after 9pm" and didn't want to meet my kids or me to meet his,

I didn't see him over the whole Xmas because a family member was home staying at his and he didn't even tell them about me nevermind want me to meet them, he then complained he was lonely when I couldn't come over to his more than once or twice a week because I have young children and a full time job with very little help from anyone,

I became an emotional wreck, he made me feel bad about my body making comments about the size of my chest, watched porn while we had sex, and got the hump when I arranged nights out with friends, I was made to feel bad and it caused arguments anytime I dared try to talk about my feelings, I can't believe I stayed in this for so long, I isolated myself from friends and family and spent all my time thinking about him, I actually think I had numerous mental breakdowns during the whole time which were met with hostility, not caring from him,
Its finally over, I'm going to work on myself now and try build back up relationships with friends and family and be a great strong mother to my kids, just wanted to write it all down and I hope I can stay strong when he inevitably contacts me again,
Thanks for reading

Well done and good luck. Please don't have another relationship until you've done some serious work on yourself though. Freedom program for perspective.

Another well done from me.

I'm in a similar position so I know how hard it is.

Hadn't been with the guy for as long as you, but he completely failed to acknowledge my birthday recently and amongst other things I've realised he truly does not give a fuck about me. There's no respect, or common decency and without that you have nothing.

I've blocked and deleted his number, all messages and traces of him. As sad as that was to do, I know it was the right thing to do to stop him worming his way back in.

He was almost like a drug to me and I think had I have left the door open I'd be weak enough to let him walk right through it again.

Your life with him sounds miserable, and most definitely not making you happy. What's the point?

With time you'll heal and be in a much better place to meet someone who rightly treats you as you deserve.

Could you not go down the blocking and deleting route too? I now see it's the best way to get these idiots out of your mind and life. You'll always be waiting to hear from them otherwise.

Thanks, I do know I need to work on myself, I used to be confident and had no self esteem issues,

He was like a drug to me, I let so many things slide because I loved him,

You're right my life with him was miserable and there is no point, I'll be far happier on my own not constantly worrying and wondering,

I have blocked him, so hopefully I won't hear from him again, this time feels different and I feel stronger and less likely to allow him to worm his way back in

What a horrible man. In time you will see this and be so proud of yourself. Stay single and build yourself up so you never stay with someone as vile again.

Great work, make sure you block on everything, that way you shouldn't hear from him again. In the rare event he turns up at the door, don't open it. xx

I'm the same in that we need to practice saying 'no' or 'that's not ok' when they act out of line, or bin them immediately. The making comments about your chest thing is shocking. What makes men think they can do stuff like that? Never again! Any others acting like that or in the many other disrespectful ways my exes have had, will be out the door.

Best of luck in moving forward positively.