Relationship post

[Jorgensen1989]

Ok I got this message off my gf, and it's been a few times I've has this where she say's she's not good enough, it makes me wonder why she says that? Anyone any input?

I’m gonna go bed, I love you so much and your an amazing person. You deserve so much better then me you really do, I can’t do anything right and every time I try I just mess up. Night xx

I think she’s fishing for attention if you want me to be honest...she wants reassurance from you that she is good enough etc...does she has low self esteem?

She sounds like hard work.

She's either very insecure and wants reassurance but for some reason doesn't want to ask directly, or

she's feeling guilty about something she's done that she knows you wouldn't like.

I have reassured her before but she says it again after a while. It does feel hard work sometimes. And yes has low self-esteem

Definitely looking for attention. She probably feels like you don't want her and she wants reassuring.

You need to be straight with her and tell her she’s good enough but she needs to stop saying it now.

I can imagine it feels like hard work and probably annoying at times. But just be straight.

Well I already know she cheated on me once before as she got very upset and told me the day after. I've also not always been 100% committed at times choosing to go and take up my hobbies playing pool and football, and I had a gambling problem which affected us but now I'm going to meetings and been free of it for a few weeks almost now. I'm 30 she's 23

You are both in different mental stages in your life. You’re 30 and she’s 23. If she’s texting the stuff she does she sounds very immature.

I don’t mean to sound horrible I promise and I’m not here to bash you I’m sure some others on here who do that as their full time job may come along and do that BUT back to my point. Your relationship isn’t healthy if she’s cheated on you already.

You need to find someone probably a little older and make a healthy committed relationship. But before you do that focus on yourself and your gambling problem that’s what’s most important for you right now.

PS you’re entitled to your own time to play football etc! You can’t be in each other’s pockets 24/7! And if that is an excuse for her to cheat then she’s just not the one. A woman should want you to have your time too.

Dude, this is not a good relationship. When you’re with the right person neither of you should be off getting involved with anyone else. End it. Behave better. Raise your standards.

Is she looking for reassurance?
Or is it the "it's not you, it's me" cop-out?
It sounds like hard work, and it really shouldn't be.

It seems so, just at the same time I love her so much also as well, she's so nice to me and done great things for and with so it's diffucult

I can imagine how you feel but whilst you have no kids with this girl or financial ties cut it! You’ll find someone who isn’t the hard work and faithful

My first thought was she was cheating.
As she's done it before, it seems even more likely.

I think you should ask her directly what she means by that.

I don't think it will last, btw.

Sometimes it's not just like that though, i'm not trying to paint a bad picture here as she is also so wonderful in many ways. I've often not prioritised her during our time together when perhaps I should do. We've had time where we're on the phone and can go easily more than 10 seconds where neither of us talk. There's also the part that I basically know I am bi too.

It sounds a bit manipulative to be honest. I've known people like this and it's hard work. She's cheated on you but is asking you for reassurance, it should be the other way around! It sounds like she's done a good job of convincing you that you're partly responsible when you say you havent always prioritised her. That's no excuse for cheating in my honest opinion.