Letting go and getting over what happened

[Flyg]

I have managed to get out of a really horrible and abusive relationship. There was Gaslighting, a lot of criticism, and one incident of physical assault. It was a totally unloving relationship and I’ve had 3 very stressful years.

I’m now out and have my own place, a job I love and the kids 50/50 while he’s off work, but when he works he’s abroad so I have them all the time then and they are only 1 and 3 so hopefully any affect on them will be minimal.

What I would like is advice on how to let the extreme anger I feel towards him go. He’s still being awkward and threatening to take the kids, saying absurd things that didn’t happen and other things. But I’ve cut contact down to the bare minimum I can in a co parent situation.

I don’t have therapy money or time unfortunately. Reading this forum has helped massively so I’m hoping it might help me again. What did it take for you to let go and not still feel angry and churned up inside at what you experienced?

Well done for getting out, Flyg!!

I am not sure about anger... it is a natural part of getting over something and sounds like you have every reason to be angry. How long has it been?

Thanks BraveGoldie!

It’s happened in stages really, broken up since last April but only had my own place since November. I was living half the time at my mums and half the time in the house we shared.

Journal. Write it all out. It will help you prices your feelings.

Use the front half for itself where your quote down what you think, etc.

Use the second half to write letters to him and others who you want to confront.

It's cathartic.

Use the front half for writing down what you think and feel, etc.....

Also, never send these letters. However, your mind doesn't know that so it will assume you did and give you a sense of closure.

Good luck!