Sick of being used by partners family.

[usedandabused]

I am coming to the end of my tether with my DP's family and I'm scared I will snap.

They constantly use me as a babysitter. His eldest sister works full time but has not sorted out any childcare for her 10 year old twins. She just assumes everyone else will do it. The job usually falls on her mother but sometimes they will phone DP and tell him its "Our turn". If DP refuses (which he does because I tell him to!) they start calling us selfish etc. Last week his mum phoned, told us she was bringing the kids around after school and we would be looking after them from 3:30pm until 6pm. DP said no and so she said "well I'm sorry but you might have to! there is nobody else" it makes me so bloody annoyed.

Now his younger sister has had a baby and again its his mother who cares for her while she works...so she started bringing the baby (who has just started walking) around to me to look after whilst she took the other two to school! Now its EVERY morning without fail that I'm stuck looking after the baby from 8:30am until about 10am.

If I say I'm going out they say "we won't be long" and leave her anyway.

A few weeks ago we had a phone call saying we "had" to look after the older 2 all saturday. DP said no because DS1 has football practice in the morning. so 9am, the door bell goes. DP answers it and as he does so, his sister pulls off in the car leaving the older kids stood on the doorstep.

I really have had enough, I have 2 kids of my own to look after, one is only a few months old.

How would you handle this? am I in the wrong??

HI Used, it sounds horrible. Poor you. For me there are two problems:

1. Your SIL is treating you like a slave. Demand payment for hours. How dare she swan about working and dumping on you? I'd be furious. Of course it's easier at work than at home with kids but working comes at a cost (I barely earn more than my childcare/commuting costs but that's my decision).

2. Your dp isn't suppporting you against them. He needs to decide where he stands pronto. I would expect a firm line from him protecting you against his demanding family.

Good luck.

Unbelievable, my mouth actually fell open when I read the OP. Poor you, and poor kids, no wonder they tear about shouting and making a mess. You?re right, they have no respect, and no prizes for guessing who they learned that from! So you have them during the week when the parents are at work ? do they work at the weekend as well? Bloody cheek to dump them on you for the whole of Saturday! There are times I thank God I don?t live near my family .

Change your phone number. Move house. You have to do something about this situation.

Or arrive unnanounced at your MILs and your SILs house often especially at the weekend when your SIL is enjoying time off work. Really impose on them and give them a taste of what it's like.

I can't believe how rude and arrogant they are. Unreal. Even if your MIL feels dumped on by her daughter, that's no reason to behave in a shocking way towards you as well.

Bang out of order. I'd not put up with it. In fact, I'd've called social services when your SIL left her two on your doorstep. I'd tell them that two chldren have been abandoned.

So it was unreal after all?

Why do you say that? Because she hasn't been back?

My way of bumping, not an attack StealthPolarBear .

i see

Don't think it worked though StealthPolarBear

You are not wrong - I would make up a dummy invoice for child care services rendered and point out payment terms are 7days - they may get the message then!!