Ia my thinking all wrong or is dp

[granadagirl]

Just recently again going through patch where whatever I say it ends in argument where he shuts me down

Like today
The tap in bathroom needs new aerator, we looked online it’s a Roca suite.
Do rang a local plumbers and they said bring it down there’s so many.
He then goes on about it being a Roca one
Which is £14
I said just go to local and see if they have same size that does the job maybe £3(are on amazon)
He just kept going on about getting Roca one, I just said ok do that.
Next he starts on joint bill acct, how much extra there is in it this mth(no council tax this mth, next mth)
Yer I know, just leave it for emergencies any thing popping up
He says, why should we have hundreds in there! There’s only about £130 left!
I’m not putting £275 in next mth, no way
I said I can’t understand you, it’s there if we need it for anything rather than at the time saying we need xxx. Money there
He just went on and on
I ended up saying, just take your half out
I can’t be doing with this stress again (mentioned last week)
I called him a money pinching miser

We’re both in our 60’s , he gets his state pension in Oct
I have to wait 3 yrs
We get by, no debt still have money each left
He as 2 cars and a motor bike, doesn’t mention a thing when it comes to them
Ie. Insurance, tax, mot service buys the best of the best, because it’s for him
Yet if I say we need anything for house, it falls on death ears or he’ll say it’s ok nothing wrong with it.
Yet I don’t see why I should just pay for it myself, even if it’s me that decides we need it
Is my thinking wrong???

When he went out to the shops this morning
He moans about that
It’s me that’s going out in all this rain, he loves to get out(can’t stand it if he stays in )

Since coming back from shop, he’s just mentioned he’s emailed company about sink aerator.
Since then, whilst I having lunch he’s not spoken. I feel I’m on eggshells
He’s got his eyes closed on sofa, so no talking in store
got up and gone to bed, not a word to me

Yesterday I felt I was in dog house because joint of meat took longer to cook than I thought
So he had face on him because it was later, and doesn’t speak
So I know he’s in a mood
So he’s night routine was behind
He as shower at 6.30pm and goes for walk round block every night. So tonight it was 7pm before his shower.

I’m I getting pickie??
Just seems everything turns into argument
I end up giving in to what he suggests or wants or he shuts me up with some sentence. Like You know what to do

I couldn't live with that on a daily basis.

Hi 🙂 you say "just recently going through a patch" ... How long ago was the last "patch"? What do you think caused / ended it ? Is he depressed ? He sounds like a difficult, hard work teenager and you have my sympathies though 🙂 xx

Sounds a bit like my husband. He can have periods like this, in fact he quite often does.

I couldn't deal with a his way or the highway guy bossing me around and sulking if any tiny thing doesn't go exactly his way.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. How did it come to pass that you are now in a relationship (which is an abusive one) with this person?.

I would make plans to leave him as soon as you are able to do so. There is no going forward at all with someone who stonewalls you as well as being emotionally abusive towards you. You are with Mr Wrong and this will not get any better for you, it will continue to spiral downwards for you. He will merely continue to drag you down with him into his pit.

He thinks more of his own motorbike and cars than he does of you; he probably sees you as some sort of household appliance/skivvy/bottlewasher that cooks and cleans for him. You are of no further use to him other than this. He is truly both a selfish and self absorbed individual.

He sounds like a joy sucking arsehole. You should set up a savings account and sweep your share of extra into it so he doesn’t moan, and then you’ve got an emergency fund.

The rest of it is him being a grumpy arse and he needs a kick up the butt

Last argument was about 6-8 weeks ago I think.
It’s nearly always we discuss something and he’ll agree and then change is mind. Drives me mad, will ask my opinion then still do what he’s already decided.

He’s not depressed, he’s super active. I’m the opposite.
I’ll go out if I’m doing something or need to get something.
He can’t stand hanging/staying around the house, likes to go out in the morning say to shops, then after lunch out somewhere for hour or two
After tea he showers and goes walk round the block.

Attila
What do you mean by
What did you learn about relationships growing up?

He got up at 4pm asked did I want a drink.
I asked was going to bed his way of getting away from me.
He said he wasn’t well, and doesn’t feel right. He keeps falling asleep
He was ok to play badminton on sat/sun though(although did fall asleep when he came home later)
I told him exactly what he’s like, and how he makes me feel.
Asking me a question, then doing what he decides in the end after it causing turning into a bigger thing.
He, I can’t do anything right can I
I explained that I can’t just shut up, when there’s been a disagreement and forget about it and sweep it under the carpet in order to not sort it
I think it’s his way of it not turning into a bigger argument
But It makes me resentful and hurt, as I feel he’s shutting me up

I