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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To long for a close relationship with mum :(

1 reply

Keepgoing88 · 24/02/2020 12:37

Sorry this is me be feeling a bit sorry for myself but does anyone else long for a close relationship with their mum.and just not have one. I have an 'arms length' in terms of emotional relationship with my mum. Growing up we used to do things together like go shopping. She now says she doesn't like shopping. I try to engage her when I see her and ask her questions and hope we can be close but it's like she can't/won't. I see mum's and daughters doing things together and people talking fondly about their relationship with their mum's and it makes me sad. My mum can be quite mean/bitchy at times to me so on the one hand I know that perhaps it's not possibly. I just wish we could have a close relationship. Are some people just not capable? She laughs at the TV I watch, sniggers at stuff I say sometimes. I just feel lost sometimes and with 3 kids I really want a close relationship with them and I worry I don't or won't know how when they get older.
My sister's do not have a close relationship with her either.
Sometimes we have been to things with the kids but she nearly always drags my dad along with her so I don't feel we have that time much to talk. I see other mum's going to play groups and cafes with their mum's and it makes me jealous and just confused about why my mum never seems interested in making a close relationship with me. I start to wonder what I can do and try to twist myself to make her like me ... it's embarrassing but I just feel so frustrated! I see her a few times a week and we 'get on' but it just seems so shallow and I can't relax or really be myself around her. Just wanted to share this really as it's getting me down at the moment.

OP posts:
Keepgoing88 · 24/02/2020 12:39

I must say also she is quite a quiet and anxious person now (despite having a successful full on career up until about 10 years ago) and is quite jumpy. It's not always easy to relax around her when we do go places as it's often like she can't relax around us.

OP posts:
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