I am not his "type"

[Sweetmummy77]

The last week has been full on. I'm not sure how to tackle things. I know i just want to jump in and tackle it.
I moved back into my home last week as i was feeling very unloved. My o/h has hardly touched me in 6 months. If i try and hug he pushes me away. He keeps telling me everything is ok and he loves me. He took me out for dinner and a spa afternoon. So far not great but could be worked on.
I found in his drawer a stash of expensive male sex toys. I had to google them as i didn't know what it was. Since i have had a bee in my bonnet. Last night purely by accident i stumbled across a second instagram account. It is definitely his and both before and during our relationship he has been chatting up men dressed as women. So how do i tackle this. Safe to say i'm heart broken

Why do you want to tackle it? You’ve already separated and it sounds like that’s best for both of you.

You stay separated and move on.

He wanted to try and sort everything out. Even yesterday when i saw him he was talking as if we still had a future. Yes i love him but I'm not allowing myself to be made a fool of. However i want him to know from its over and why i don't want anything to do with him.

Just tell him you are not his type and never will be as it's a physical impossibility. He wants the normal image a straight relationship brings but he needs to be true to himself, and not drag (no pun intended) you into his closet

You’ve moved out and it’s over. Just keep it that way. There is no future.

I think you just have to accept that it is over and tell him that. Sad but necessary. And get yourself checked out for STIs in case he has been up to more than just chatting. Be strong, OP.

And tell him to get on his bike if he doesn’t accept this. He wants to have his cake and eat it.

He wants a man so you'll never be his type. Hugs but at least this should give you closure and the ability to get out there and find a straight man who will desire you.

Heartbroken you maybe but at least you know and dont find out after 40 years of marriage. Equally you would be heartbroken if he'd split for other reasons ... a more beautiful girl, or cleverer, or older or if he died.

You can and will get thru this and your bruised heart will recover. Good luck.

I know i can and i will. I have told him straight why i don't believe he loves me, i showed him the proof. Only to be told it was hacked and he's sticking to it. How little he he thinks of me to my face! I deserve a hell of a lot better! I did what i had to do in order to give me closure.

How did they hack his toy draw which started you looking? You know it is BS.

Well done on being clear on your boundaries. It will get better with time.

Exactly right. Also write in the same way he does. Total bs. Yes it hurts like hell but i don't need this

A liar (and cheater?) who's into cross dressers/other men.

Stay out, don't look for answers and truth from him he's not going to give you.

He can do whatever he likes in life (as an aside I cannot get my head around men who want to have sex with men dressed as women .. So you're not into actual women but you're into men dressed as women, like wtf?) but deceiving someone else is deeply immoral, a d says nothing good about his character.

There's nothing left to do. It's clearly over. Get whatever things you have at his and text him goodbye and not to contact you. Delete and block him everywhere.