Our marriage isn't bad but it isn't good either

[Listeningtowind]

We've been married 3.5 years and together over 10. 2 young DCs.

I feel so unfulfilled in my marriage and don't know what to do. We keep having big arguments, every 2-3 weeks. Had a huge one last weekend and, as usual, agreed we'd do xyz to try and make things better but our relationship feels so 'bleurgh', humdrum.

Last weekend I said I'd like us to go to counseling but he said no, it's not his thing. He then became really down and worried that I wanted to leave him. I reassured him that I dont but a small part of me does.

I'm really struggling with the idea that this is the rest of my life. I day dream that he'll cheat and I'll have a good reason to leave.

We have 2 very young DC, which has disrupted my career. I'm a SAHM at the moment, which I enjoy and find hard in equal measure. I don't know how much other factors can make me question my marriage so much.

Anyone have any experience of feeling like this or any advice?

If it's too personal don't answer: are you still sexually attracted to him?

Your situation seems like mine was.
The daily grind, not feeling like yourself, Not feeling like a couple anymore just people who live in the same house. He never understood how hard the babies where or how hard it was to keep going. pnd with 1st didn't help

I had a second child because I always wanted 2. That healed a bit of the trauma for me.

The youngest of my 2 is now 2.5 years and I'm starting to feel that we are finally working to a shared goal and are supporting each other

It was a slog. I thought about leaving so much.
I even had all the financial things worked out.
But I am glad I stuck with it.

Not saying that it's exactly the same for you but your baby is so young and it's so fucking hard right now.
Don't make a life altering decision unless you cant hang on any longer.