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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I stay or should I go ?

7 replies

Dazedandconfused68 · 23/02/2020 17:21

24 years is too long to summarise fully but basicIy I was 29 he was 63. he had 2 grown children from ex. We wanted DC but nature didn’t oblige so we adopted the most amazing, loving child and he is my world. So far life is good but we moved out of London to a lovely big house with sheep from neighbours, wonderful local friends etc. But there were 3 issues 1- my mother had to live with us while we built an annex which took a while, I developed fibromyalgia and he had a small stroke which has altered his personality. So 24 years into marriage I’m in a marriage with someone who I don’t love but my son adores him, my mother loathes my DH because he’s made me unhappy and I have no independent money as many years ago I would be a stay at home mom. we have also now lost. Some savings so our forever house is actually financially crippling us. I feel like I have 3 options A full divorce which won’t be amicable but I will be denying my son and his Dad ongoing time together. B emotionally separate- we’d share a home but not be in a relationship and C

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused68 · 23/02/2020 17:26

Sorry about this but C is just suck it up, take my meds and pretend that it’s all good until my son is an adult and I’ve become financially stable.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 23/02/2020 17:32

Is he 87 now? Is it the affect of the stroke

How old is your son

What is the financial situation

Windmillwhirl · 23/02/2020 17:37

You shouldn't stay unhappy for your son's same. He's going to have to get use to not always having everything this way. How is is he?

I'd go for full divorce because life is too short to waste

HollowTalk · 23/02/2020 17:41

This sounds calculating but if he's 87 and in poor health I'd go for living separate lives, so that you can inherit. That money will be vital when caring for your child.

NoMoreDickheads · 23/02/2020 20:04

I'd just wait it out mate. Statistically speaking, he's already lived at least 8 years longer than the average man, maybe even longer for a man of his year of birth IDK.

Iliketonamechangealot9876542 · 23/02/2020 20:13

Erm morbid as it is as others have said- if he is 87- wait it out!

WickedlyPetite · 23/02/2020 20:20

He's 87, he's had a stroke. Wait it out.

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