Hi Mumsnet - first time posting here, but this seems to be the best forum for no bullshit answers. 😂 And as per my username, feeling like a teenager!
So I am in my early 40s, single and have known this guy (about 5 years older than me) for a year or two. He has been separated from his wife for at least a couple of years (she is shacked up with someone else) and currently going through the divorce formalities.
I know him as one of the bunch of people on my daily commute (we do work in the same building, but different departments and my work never crosses his). It always has been a group of people on the train, and I have always enjoyed his company (we laugh all the time) but recently our train timetable changed and now in the evening it is just myself and him.
And in the last few weeks, it has dawned on me that I am thinking of him more and more - in fact pretty much all the time now - but I have no clue what he thinks. Things that have happened for anyone into body language and the such....
We always have very focussed eye contact when we are talking
Touch each other on the arm / back occasionally.
He mirrors me, all the time. I read some online articles and obsessed now with looking at body language and testing it. Feet always pointing towards me even if he is talking to someone else.
We laugh, all the time. Even at the stupidest jokes.
We text a little here and there, albeit very innocently.
He buys me little things like tea, snacks for our train journey and most recently, something we were talking about when we were last talking on the train (we talk a lot about food!) and I had said I had never tried it.
My feelings have just intensified over the last week or so - i admitted it to my best friend, and it kind of made it more real so I can’t ignore it any more. On Thursday, the last time i saw him, he first of all said I looked flushed (d’oh!) and then asked me repeatedly if I was okay as I didn’t seem myself. I brushed it off. When I got home, i texted him with an answer to a question he had asked about where we work, and he asked again if I was okay. I just said I had an overwhelming day, plus hadn’t slept well the night before (oh he had already interrogated me about why that was as well, just said I had lots on my mind). Then he told me he had bought me this thing. We haven’t had any further contact this weekend.
So Mumsnet - what do you think? Am I overreacting? I am not brave enough to just ask him out - do you think there is something worth pursuing, and what are your sage words of advice?
The only advice I’ve had so far is from one of my friends. “Text him, and say “Thanks for the tea, fancy a shag?”” 