Divorce - where do I start?

[Regularposteripromise]

I'm a regular poster but have name changed as friends and family knew my previous username and we've not told anyone yet.

H and I have had a discussion this morning and have decided a separation is best. Both have our reasons for blaming the other but have agreed for the DC we'll keep it amicable and just get it sorted as quickly and easily as possible. I manage the finances and have all paperwork I may need. I'm going to ring a solicitor tomorrow. What do I do now? Is there certain things I must do to get my ducks in a row? What happens now.

I hope this post doesn't sound cold.. This isn't the way I saw my life going but its happening and I need to get on board with it.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated x

If you can agree as much as possibly amicably, that will be good. Go for a clean break with finances - get advice over assets.

Unfortunately we don't yet have a "no fault" divorce system, so either you need to formally separate and divorce after 2 years, or one of you will have to file for divorce for unreasonable behaviour. You need about 5/6 examples and it might feel quite unpleasant for both parties.

www.gov.uk/divorce

Thank you, that's really helpful. It looks like we may go down the 2 year separation road then as we both have agreed we're equally at fault and to sit and play the blame game would make things very bitter.

We have a mortgage on our house but that's it, he has a car in his name and we have no other outstanding credit. Neither of us need the house due to its size if living separately so will be having it valued next week.

I'm in a similar situation today op. How old are your children. I'm dreading telling ours.

Just file on UB and agree one of you will
Makes no difference to outcome of finances

The children are 10 and 4. I grew up with separated parents and hated it and I'm dreading the children feeling that way. Hope you're ok piixxiiee

You don't necessarily need legal advice unless you can't both agree on finances and child arrangements.

Some of the basics but one party has to agree to divorce the other. So if you want to take the lead you start the petition, easiest is unreasonable behaviour and you cite 6 reasons. If you are amicable you could write them together. And the 6 reasons need to be within 6 months of raising the petition.

Your husband has to sign to agree and it goes off to court and if the judge agrees you will get your decree nisi back.

Now important part - don't proceed to decree absolute until you get your financials done (can't advise on children part). For financials there is another form for court showing how you will split assets and debt again a judge will review.

Sorry to hear this but if you can do it amicably it definitely helps

I did the 2 years separation route then we split finances and property and then filed for the nisi. Absolute cane 6 weeks after. No solicitors required and I would recommend avoiding them unless you feel you will need mediation - it just costs a fortune.

Mine cost £150 - although was over 20 years ago
My parents' involved solicitors and cost over £10k. They wish they hadn't - the solicitors argued over things my parents already agreed on and really dragged out the process making it much harder