Dating someone at work - is it a terrible idea?

[LongC44]

Long story short, there is someone at work I really like. We have so much fun together, chat constantly and all day at weekends and always seem to end up going off just the two of us at any event.

I am 99% certain they feel the same but is a work relationship just a terrible idea? Have any of you had this before and how did it work? A few people have commented on it already and I've just laughed it off but it's quite hard. At first I kept telling myself "work is too important I'm not even entertaining it" but somehow my brain won't listen. Help !!

What is the company policy in this? How closely do you work together? If you are in the same team for example I would say it’s a no. If you are two people of 500 in a big company then I would say it’s ok. Depends on the circumstances.

Lots of people meet through work. But if it doesn't work it can get messy so I understand your nervousness. Sometimes in life you just have to take the plunge...I think you should.

How does your workplace deal with couples? My last company would move one to different area/dept if needed. They especially did this if one reported to the other... More junior would move. They also wouldn't allow family members to work for another family member... Ie my bosses son couldn't work for me... It'd have to be a different dept s on they are more strict than many places
Also, how do they deal with breakups? We currently have a couple with young children in different depts on same site. She has suddenly left him for another married person on same site same dept) ... Its causing chaos not just for them but generally in depts.

Good luck!

Relationships between people at different levels in the same reporting line are banned with us, because of the imbalance of power, but otherwise, there are plenty of couples around. We're a big organisation, and if you work in different parts of the building (or different offices) and are in different departments, it's quite possible not to come across each other in the office at all often.

If you are in the same department or work on projects together, or it's a very small organisation anyway, then I'd be wary. I agree with also considering how you deal with break-ups. But it can work sometimes.

I don't think colleagues should ever date. Its a bad idea on principle. And you're only seeing an idealized version of him too.

Really depends on your work and the situation.

Is one of you senior to other?
Are you in the same department?
Do you work closely?
What's company policy?
Are they or you in a relationship?
Do either of you consistently date co workers?

Loads of this would impact if this was a good idea or not.

Usually I’d say it’s an awful idea, just on principle... and it makes things complicated whether it goes well or not.

But I met my fiancé at work, and risked my “no dating at work” policy for him. He did the same. We kept it far away from work until we’d been together a while, he didn’t report to me or vice versa, and although we were in the same wider team, we didn’t have much direct contact. Nobody guessed, probably because they didn’t really see us interact! It worked for us. Neither of us work there anymore, and we get married this year.

Although I think we were lucky!

No not a good idea. What if they cheat on you and have to see them every day!?

Wow thanks everyone I was absolutely not expecting so many responses!!

Ok so in answer to questions, I honestly have no idea what work would think and there is no policy as far as I'm aware. To be honest I think if anything was to happen it would have to be totally secret.

I totally hear you on what if it goes wrong, that's my biggest concern. But then what if it goes right. I was concerned maybe we only had work in common but outside of work we don't even talk about it, so I don't think that's an issue.

None of us have ever dated anyone at work but we do work very closely together. I have been wondering recently if we actually need to or we have engineered it to be that way (we both get involved in things the other is doing for absolutely no need 😂)

I realised when people started replying that there was only one answer I was actually looking for which was "go for it it'll be fine" which I realistically know is unlikely so really need to be strict with myself!!

(Also NC as I am terrified of anyone I know connecting this to me)

It does have the potential to go horribly wrong and statistically that is probably the most likely outcome. However if you are prepared to take that risk go for it. I met my DH at work, and was strongly advised against it by my best friend. I'm glad I ignored her as we've been happy together for 15 years. Still sort of work together now but much less closely and probably could avoid each other now if we split, not that we plan to.