Opinions please!

[Mermaidwaves]

So I've met a guy in real life recently, not online, and I need some common sense talked into me. He's very sweet and seems nice but I have some issues.

1. He's constantly broke, he can't afford a coffee on our next date so I will need to pay. I can forsee this becoming a pattern.
2. Hes told me he smokes weed daily. See above point.
3. He can't drive so I will be picking him up for all future dates. I'm aware this point probably makes me sound really shallow.

This is a non starter isn't it? Am I being picky and shallow or would this put you off?

You’re not being picky, you just have standards. Do you imagine your future being a provider to a druggy and driving him around for his next buy?

Yep that's exactly what I'm thinking it will be like.

I wouldn’t go on another date with this person.

Then you already know the answer OP

Nope! No point even another date.

I am vehemently anti-drugs and have never and would never date someone who takes them

They're not as common as some on here like to make out and they're not harmless.

And why should you sub him?

Nope nope nope

He could buy you coffee if he didn’t smoke weed daily.

So he’s not that into you let alone all the other issues

Move on now

He's prioritising buying weed over paying his way. There may come a time when he wants to change his priorities but that has to come from him. Currently, he's effectively not available and you're not a match.

Don’t even bother wasting your time

I would hope I wouldn't tolerate being with a druggie.

Dump the loser

Do you seriously think you should overlook a weed habit and lifestyle that means he can't afford a coffee?!

If he can smoke pot on a daily basis, he can afford a coffee.

This bloke may as well have LOSER written on his forehead.

Get rid, quick smart!

Utter waste of space. High standards are a good thing

I would absolutely not go on a date again with this ‘man’. He sounds like a bum OP. How old is he?

Why would you want to date such a waste of space? Ugh. Nothing is less attractive than a drug using loser.

Not picky or shallow at all. Set your bar higher. A LOT higher.

No, you are absolutely not being picky (and even if you were that would be absolutely fine!). I wouldn't go on another date with this guy if it were me.

I would be out without looking back

Why would you want this sort of relationship? Don’t care how ‘nice’ he might be. Sorry it’s a big fat no

God, stoners are such tedious company. Literally beyond boring.

You have to be picky, you're picking who you date but I wouldn't be bothering, a date doesn't necessarily lead anywhere but there should at least be a glimmer of hope.

Would be a non starter for me.

I went on a date with someone once who didn't drive. I was prepared to overlook that. But then when, on the second date, he revealed he only ate steak and chips and had health problems as a result of his poor diet, I was out.

I'm an adult. I want a relationship with another adult. Not a liability.

Nope

What is he bringing to the table??

He's going to smell! You can't kiss a smoker. Bleughh!

I needed to see it written down folks and having seen it written down it sounds absurd doesn't it? Nope I'm not having another date and I don't know why I even considered it

Father of my DC and myself were non driving daily dope smokers pre DC. Even when we shared our weed would still annoy me he prioritised spending money on that. He is very much ex DP now, still smoking. I'm completely straight and have been for around 15 years, have my own car despite getting zero financial support off him.

If it's a nope from someone who had a similar lifestyle, it should be a hell no for someone who doesn't share that.

Surely early days you're trying to impress someone. To not have enough money for coffee shows it will only get worse.