Unloved

[newfoundlandss]

I've been with my husband 5 years and we have two children.

I'm feeling low. I don't feel loved or wanted. And I'm fed up of bringing up the same issues. He changes for a day then goes back to his old ways.

He's lazy and messy. He comes in from work (starts early, finishes early afternoon) and either naps or plays PlayStation until he picks the kids up. I'm lucky he cooks dinner for me coming home. But that's it.

He leaves his dirty clothes in the floor, never changes the beds, the bathroom, yada yada yada.

Friday night he's plays the PlayStation until 2am then lies in til 10 on Saturday. He then wants an afternoon nap and goes to bed by 9.

Then Sunday morning he wants to play football with his friends.

He barely talks to me during the week as he's too busy on his phone game, Twitter or what's app.

I'm fed up of this SHIT.

OP do you want to live like this forever? Dont do his washing
By all means shove it in a basket for his lordship but only wash yours and see what happens

Do you work as well?

Yes - full time. Most days in finish at 6, some days I work until 10pm. I'm done in and I know I sound pathetic but I'm fucking heartbroken

No you do not sound pathetic, he does!

You must ask yourself. Is your relationship his priority? If not I would consider moving on for the sake of your own sanity, and take a chance on the rest of your life improving. You sont want to be teaching your DC that this is acceptable either.

Even if you love him, his actions are unloving and disrespectful.

You don't deserve to be treated like a live in maid.

I feel exactly in the same boat as you. How old are your DCs? Mine are 4 and 18months and I feel too I'm on a relentless treadmill. I could rant for ages about his laziness, moodiness (because he's tired) etc but it'll just work me up. Have you spoken to him about this? Also down tools where you can. I have found that I'm enabling my DHs attitude. It's got to the point where I've got a plan on how we would deal with separation and in one argument said fine if he wants x/y/z then it'd be like we're separated and if that's what he wants crack on. I'm not suggesting you threaten to leave but I think you should have a clear plan about what you want life to be like, what you're willing to accept and to protect you and your DCs mental health. (My DD often tells me about how she doesn't like it as daddy plays on his phone and he shouts at her).

Hi @scubaprincess thank you.

Mine are 3 and 1 so not too far off in ages. He was great before we had them and he just seems to have lost interest in me since.

I've brought it up a number of times and he will change for a day or two then just go back to his old ways. It's weekends that get me more than anything. He wants all this free time to do his own thing or sleep and I'm like, when do I get that??? I would love just even a couple of hours to myself once a week where I'm not working or have the kids attached to me.

I would also like a couple of hours on a Saturday night with my husband and actually feel like he's paying me some attention but it's too much to ask. Clearly!

Shock horror. He's gone for a nap.