To throw an engagement party?

[ScarJo]

Asking on behalf of a friend.

Friend got engaged June 29th 2019. Her fiance is from Wales so all his family are there. They got engaged in June, had a holiday booked in July, he had an event abroad booked in October then Christmas came around so they didn't have the expense to spare for a party until now.

She is now upset that she is not having an engagement party like all of her other friends did (myself included) but when she brought it up to her fiancé just before Christmas he said MIL said it was too late to have one and nobody from his side would bother coming this far after the fact.

She is such a dear friend to me and so so so kind I really want her to enjoy her engagement and have all the experiences that go along with it. Will she be unreasonable to throw a party now? Will it just be shit?

Throw me some opinions or maybe some ideas of what I can do for an alternative?

If the bride and groom's parents haven't met then an engagement party makes sense IMHO or the bride and groom going out with their friends to celebrate but personally I'm
42 and have never attended one.

She already has a one year old - I can see why MIL might think it's a bit too late for an engagement party .

I don't see the point in engagement parties.

If you are 23 proms were definitely a thing! I'm 27 and proms when I had mine were very much a thing and years before that! 🤣

Surely it’s getting near the wedding now??

I'm nearly 50 and despite going to loads of weddings, I've never been to an engagement party so his family may not even consider it important?

I had my last child at 40 and a friend wanted to throw me a baby shower. I can't stand them and said that no,people can come and meet the baby when it arrives.

Just had an invite to a close friends, I despise her partner!! I'm hoping we are ill!!

@musti please suffer hell with me lo?!!!

I’ve been to quite a few for friends who got married when we were younger. Mostly for people who were early twenties, didn’t live together and certainly didn’t have children already.

I think it’s more unusual for someone who already has a family with their fiancée and so presumably already has the kind of household stuff that people give as presents at these parties.

Presumably the weddings not that far away if they’ve been engaged for so long, I’d be inclined to focus on the party for that.

I'd have thought engagement parties were rather old-fashioned. As others have said, they belong to the days when weddings were modest affairs and engagement presents helped a couple set up home together. If your friend already has a baby - and presumably lives with her fiancé - I think the engagement party ship sailed some time ago. Her mother-in-law is probably correct in thinking that nobody is going to be terribly interested.

When is the wedding? If they have been engaged nearly 9 months surely they are close to getting married.

I don’t think she’d be unreasonable to have a party if that’s what she wants. I’d let her do all the organising for it though.

Seems a waste of money to me, spend it on the wedding.