Leaving my babies dad

[Terri123456]

Hi,

So I'm 36 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner are having I believe to be big problems. I'm not easy to live with at the moment I get that and I hold my hands up. But I don't feel like I'm getting his support. He's told me he's going to take all of my SMP from me to pay my half of the rent rather than work more hours because I'm on more money than him in the first place. I pay half of his sons rent as well. His mum has also said I should be handing over all of my SMP to him as well. His mum has also accused me of keeping her from the baby because I don't want to be round her dog which isn't the case at all, I'm just terrified of dogs.

I then had a nasty fall the other night and because I'm rhesus negative I had to have the anti d. He then said he would wait in the car for me to get my jab... the midwife was shocked. I then had to go to anti natal on my own because there was nobody to look after his son, which I ordinarily wouldn't mind as these things happen but he has months worth of notice to sort something. I then asked him to come to a midwife appointment with me as she was going to go over the birth to which he replied, "is it important". Well I believe it to be important because he's my birthing partner.

Then he tells me to fuck off when we get into a row which I've asked him not to. He also asked me to leave though he apologised for that.

I then went on his laptop this morning and found a topless picture of him that was taken at 11pm at night in December when I was 4 hours away visiting my family. He has also screenshotted memories on Facebook from what I can only presume are old girlfriends because they are all quite flirtatious comments. I'm so confused why he would do that.

My midwife has advised me to go home to be with my family who are 4 hours away for support. I'm so terrified I'm being too rash. I've booked removals for tomorrow and paid for them and I'm absolutely devastated I understand there's only 1 side of the story here but I just don't know and so unsure of my decision. What I don't want is to bring a baby up in a toxic relationship and hurt him in the process.

He is a really good dad to his son and I'd never take that away from him. He's given up a lot for his little boy and I believe he will want to have involvement with this child just not me :(

Goid luck with your move today. It is the right thing to do

Sounds like you've done the right thing. Your midwife was right to spot the abuse and if it's already started it only gets worse when baby arrives with added pressures and stresses such as lack of sleep.

Sod his mother, she's raised and is defending a man who is abusing a pregnant woman. She has no legal standing at all.

Be with your family, look after yourself, do not get drawn back into him, he may be a good dad to his son and your little one coming but you don't need to be around for that to happen. Tell him you will let him be involved in the child's life but go through legal routes to keep yourself protected.

Lots of hugs

Do you have family with you today for the move?

Why does he have full custody of his son?

Pleased to hear he is a good dad to his son. Hopefully he will be a good dad to your baby too. But that definitely isn't a good enough reason to stay in a relationship with him. Best of luck to you, you're doing the right thing.

Hope you're at home with your family.
I hope your pregnancy is still going well and I hope you never go back to him.

He is not a good dad. He is expecting you to support his son when you're earnings will have dropped significantly.

He doesn't look after you.

Please stay away.