Why would a man deny a relationship?

[SpeckledDot]

Hi I really need help with a situation and I've got noone to ask, hence why I'm asking on here.

I have started seeing someone from work. We have been talking since december, had our first date on feb 8 and he stayed round mine last weekend too.

He sends me messages at work and smiles over at me. Another colleague noticed this yesterday and asked if i was seeing this person. I said yes.

Now today another different colleague has asked him the same question and he has denied that he is seeing me.

I need help on how to process this. Do you think he is embarassed about seeing me? I feel quite hurt because i have been made to look like a liar.

Any help processing this would be appreciated

Be as brutally honest as you like.

Thank you

Ask him.

I'd imagine after a fortnight or so it's still very much early days and casual at this point. I'd not be expecting exclusivity and probably wouldn't describe it as seeing someone.

Maybe he simply doesn't want his love life to the the subject of office gossip.

@30Hirsutefirs i did and he said that he didn't want to announce it in front of the people sat there? Which doesn't appear to explain anything

A lot of people feel work and personal life shouldn’t mix. Maybe he doesn’t want to be workplace gossip fodder.

I could well imagine answering like this. He's possibly just a private person.

He is probably waiting until you are established as a couple before people find out.
You'd be wise to do the same.

Bear in mind that you might be working with your colleague when you are no longer an item.

Thank you for your replies. I feel less personally insulted by his reply now. I may have jumped the gun a bit. He has worked here for a lot longer than me so it's likely going to be more of an important thing for him to admit.

I think it's too early to call it a relationship if it's just been a couple of dates? Maybe that's how he's thinking?

It will almost certainly be because it's early days and he doesn't want his personal life the topic of office gossip. He seems pretty sensible to me!

I wouldn't be telling anyone I was seeing someone in work 2 weeks in. I certainly wouldnt like being put on the spot like that.

Does he know you have told people?

“ Which doesn't appear to explain anything”

It explains everything.

He probably just assumed you’d want to keep it quiet too.

In my experience work relationships are hard because literally everyone will gossip etc. So much easier to 1. Date outside of work and 2. Keep it quiet

Far too early to call it a relationship.

Have fun and don’t sweat the small stuff

Just to update: we have spoken and he gave the exact same answers as you all gave here so i was able to explain that i understand where he was coming from and we've come to a mutual understanding and we're both happy with how it has been resolved. Thank you mumsnetters for your help i really appreciate it

You may consider that as he has worked there longer, his colleagues know his background...maybe he is attached/has wife? Just saying...

If your much lower than him might be embarrassed? Or dates a lot at work? Or has a wife? Or not allowed to date colleagues by HR.

Chill OP.

You had your first date 2 weeks ago.

You're dating. You're not in a relationship.

You're going to scare him off. It is too intense

Relationship?! Yikes you will scare the poor guy off

Way too early to be announcing anything.

Yeah, I wouldn't be telling anyone at work at this point either. Way too early to be the subject of gossip.