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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please advise - not sure if this is right place for it.

1 reply

Permenantlyexhaustedpidgeon · 21/02/2020 12:12

I’ve name changed as I don’t want to out myself and I know other friends use this site.

My daughter is 8, being badly bullied by another girl in her class. It’s very physical, the other girl loses her temper and attacks others - mostly my child it would seem, but also other children. It has been relentless this year, and I feel like a yo-yo going into school. School suspended the other girl and then put a TA with her full time to stop her hurting anyone else, but after half term they have said she has made sufficient progress and the TA will be removed. I feel like school are doing the bare minimum and only when I really push (or involve Ofsted) do they respond. They verbally tell me one story about what happened, but On 2 occasions when I requested the written report it was a totally different account making it look like my child has provoked the situation (though the resulting violence is still referenced)

The mum of the other girl is on the PTA, very popular and has been openly hostile and confrontational with me saying I’m picking on her child. School drop off and pick ups are becoming a nightmare as it feels like she’s rounding up other parents. I’m worried my daughter is being left out of social events etc.

I love the school, and have had no complaints until this year - older siblings have gone there previously and happily, but now I don’t know what to do. My child is actually very happy there the majority of the time and actively does not want to move schools, but when these incidents occur (weekly / fortnightly) becomes very anxious and distressed, saying they don’t know why X isn’t kind, that it hurts etc. They are desperate to be friends with this girl, which is also confusing school as they are saying that my daughter isn’t avoiding the other girl (which is true, she wants to play with her) Her confidence is diminishing before my eyes.

I’m having panic attacks and am on antidepressants as I’m feeling increasingly isolated and like I’m messing up my children’s lives. I’m driving off each day and wondering if she’s going to be okay, or if she’s going to be hurt. Writing that, it looks so simple that I have to move her school. That’s what I need to do isn’t it? Or am I moving my daughter from an other wise perfect school when things could be worse at another school?

I separated from my ex 2 years ago and he says he will support whatever I decide but he works away a lot and isn’t around to help more practically. I feel like I’ve got no more battle in me if things don’t improve.

What would you do? Please don’t beat me up over this, I’m worried constantly about doing the wrong thing here.

OP posts:
LilMissRe · 21/02/2020 19:11

I would copy and paste this post onto the parenting forum.

I would also speak directly to the head teacher. Don't go to anyone below, the message will get lost. I would email them first, so you have a copy, call, then make an appointment. I would also contact the governors. There are other members on the board who are not teachers or parents, but members of the community. I would raise a complaint with them. They should be able to put strategies in place whether it is reprimanding the other child, changing classes, or reprimanding the parents.

If this bullying really is causing concern and affecting the mental wellbeing of your child I would really emphasise that point.

Hope this helps x

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