I do. Two years ago my partner cheated with another father at the school. Both me and his wife were gaslighted, led on, blamed when they got caught. I tried counselling and bent over backwards and when nothing stopped the cheating, when we'd exhausted all possible reasons I just got given "shit happens, I'm entitled so put up or get out".
I got out. I divorced. His wife kicked him out. For the past two years they've pretended to be single whilst seeing each other in secret. TBH, that's their business. I just resent the fact i'm supposed to play along with the lie that we parted amicably and she's now single when that is far from the truth.
Not that it matters. Everybody knows. It's a small village - I've tried to be the better person and not spread the word of what occurred, but I suspect the OM's wife did and, to be fair, they weren't exactly discreet.
But that's the thing. You always read stories where the adulterous couple get exposed, and they're shunned by society as a result. The truth? That doesn't happen. In fact, its those cheated on - myself and the OP's wife - who get treated like pariahs. No wants to think ill of someone they liked before. So everyone justifies the circumstances or chooses to turn the other way. "There must have been a reason" they think, and so the "reason" must be our fault. No matter if a ton of counselling failed to find a reason at all. No matter if they learn we were emotionally abused. No matter that they created a shitpile that they left others to clear up. There must have been a reason and the reason must have been our fault.
Its not just a few choice friends. This is everyone in our community. And all of them want us to buy into the lie. I've had mutual friends urge me to agree to tell whoever asks that my ex and OP have literally only just started seeing each other, so that they can feel confident about "going public". When I asked "why would lie?" they said "what do you hope to achieve by not doing so?"
What do I hope to achieve? Not living a lie? Being honest? I'm not going to shout it from the rooftops, they know that, but that isn't the issue. Everyone wants to pretend something different happened so they can feel good about my ex and her OP. But it didn't. I'm sorry. I can't pretend.
She feels entitled to "follow her truth", so why do I have to bury mine?
Is there something wrong with me for feeling this way? Everyone still loves her despite all that's gone on. Her Facebook is filled with "Likes". I just think I don't work with humanity somehow.