I don’t know what to do anymore

[Mummyofgirls2020]

Advice needed I don’t really know how to start this we’ve had many many issues in our relationship in the past 5 years. I literally don’t think I can do it anymore he ruins everything with his drinking gambling wasting money, he has no aspirations dreams career goals.

He ruined Christmas for me, then went on to give me abuse when I went on holiday with family a few days later. I had to send pictures of who I was with when I was out? If I didn’t reply ASAP he would send message after message with accusations, I had to get on snapchat to prove my location when out or saying am going to bed in the hotel.

Even at home I leave the house he snapchats me so he can see my location messages me none stop, always “jokes” saying I have a boyfriend (this is like everyday) asking who’s smoked roll ups in the back garden (my dad) and then questioning my response. He’s an absolute joke I can’t bare it no more I don’t want to be near him.

We have 2 DC under 3. I don’t mind being on my own with the DC, id rather be single and look after them by myself then I won’t need to be disappointed. I’m just petrified of being alone forever, I’m miserable now it’s affects everything I have tried to end it and he physically doesn’t accept it and I’m just hanging on for no reason and just really don’t know what to do or who to turn to

Surely being alone and not questioned constantly is better than this? Are you financially able to kick him out/move out? I couldn’t tolerate the abusive nature of this relationship. Do you have a life of your own?

If it's like this now imagine what it will be like in the years to come......

Leave

No not really all my focus is on the kids, I haven’t had much of a social life since we met as he tried to make it all about me and him, always said to my friend at the time he wouldn’t stop me from doing things yet I’ve been out twice without him in these years and the holiday with family. I suppose I would manage financially alone I have a lot of family support I just can’t bite the bullet and I don't know why

You know the answer you don't need strangers on the internet to tell you to leave. I'm sure your family friends have already told you you deserve better.
I'd rather be alone than be controlled questioned daily like that. Think of the example you are setting your kids, how to be treated and how to treat your partner. I'm not saying it will be easy but you will be happier in the long run.

Talk with your family and friends, work out a plan of steps to move on so you can see the path in your head. Talk to Women's Aid if he has ever shown violence, but even his control shows he is capable of negativity towards you and this could escalate so it is worth seeing your potential local support.

You know this needs to end, but need to check out your options.

OP he's abusive. He's controlling you with his constant questions about who you're with. You don't say if you're married or not. Don't think about being alone forever, just think about bringing young children up in a safe home free from addiction and abuse.

Here's the CABx guide to Ending a Relationship.
Get advice from the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on staying safe: 0808 2000 247
You can get advice from Gingerbread on contact arrangements and maintenance.

Being "alone forever" is far better than being with an abusive, controlling arsehole like this. If you can't get rid of him for you, do it for your children. Growing up in a disaster like this will ruin them.

Agree with aquamarine! don't put yourself or your kids through it anymore if there's somewhere else you can go.

Give yourself permission to call an end to this. You can walk away. Only then will things get better. You'll be able to think straight again. Dont worry about being alone forever. Do you worry about catching a deadly disease? Not really right? Because it could happen but it probably wont.

Worry about escaping the current shitty stuff before worring about possible shitty stuff that may never happen!

You won't be alone forever. He's got you thinking this so you think you can't manage on your own. It's classic abusive behaviour.
You should be able to leave the house without having to prove where you are.
You need to get family involved so they can help you leave. Don't try and shield them from the truth because they need to be able to be there for you.
You need to do this before your children learn so see what's happening. You don't want them growing up in this environment or thinking it's normal behaviour as it will effect their future expectations of relationships.
You can do this! X

Phone the police, this is coercive control and is illegal. Thankfully they now take it very seriously, good luck op