My boyfriend (34) and I (23) have been together for just over a year. It's been a wonderful year, we've done alot, grown lot, met each others family and see them regularly along with friends. Some of who live far away so when they come here, they/we all try to meet and go out. So this happened a few weeks ago. This is where it's all gone down hill from. A few days prior to this my bf mentioned this girls name he's chatting to on snapchat and had invite her out as she's an old friend of theirs. And ever since then they've been none stop talking and he's all over her socials liking everything. He's being different while on his phone infront of me. Usually he openly tells/shows me about his various conversations with anyone he talks to (literally he tells me every convo) but with her, he doesn't, he'll snap her when I'm not there or when out the room, shield his phone when she pops up etc.. just different to usual so I'm bound to notice all these things. Yes, he has a lot of platonic girl friends that he loves very much, fine. He made this clear from the start and I trust him/them all. But this feels different in my gut. I've convinced myself she's better than me for various different reasons and keep thinking he's going to prefer her to me and leave me, because they're taking so much some feelings could develop... I'm definitely an over thinker but this has happened in the past and it's a genuine fear I'd lose someone I love to someone else again. This guy has shown me such amazing love (and still does, nothing in that way has changed) and feels like I'd be crushed without it.
So I've struggling with these thoughts and struggling how to put this across to him as this is something I can find hard, communicating thoughts/feelings effectively especially when it's so emotional for me.. so I tried and failed and idk what to do. I made a jokey comment him being on a game when I've not long got home and he took such offensive so in the heat of the moment I blurted out "what's going on with you and this girl". Totally not how I meant to put it across but it's out there now. I mini ranted what I've said above and he totally shut me down. "Oh am I not allowed to have any female friends???" "That's such a stupid idea, I can't believe you'd even think that about me" "I'm so offended you'd even think that" "I've been ill all week and not seen many people, can I not talk to people?" "We don't even talk that much" .. I could go on but the most said out of that was stupid, stupid me, stupid idea. And throughout all this I felt, stupid!!! I didn't want an argument, just to talk like adults about how I feel about the situation and him talk to me back with some respect instead of a barrage.. I get some of it, ofc he can talk to females, as he always had done and I've never had a problem with.
Anyway. I totally shut down and physically couldn't talk and we moved on. This was a couple of days ago and it's exactly the same still. Shes posting all over social and he's liking it all, the selfies, quotes, vids.
I just can't tell if its my gut that's right or my head is playing with me. Any advice how to go about any of this situation would be appreciated. Thanks for reading my rant! X