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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage Problems!

3 replies

KissNum99 · 20/02/2020 21:32

Hi,
I just need some advice because at the moment I don’t know where this is all going and what to think or do.
I’ve been with my husband for nearly 15 years, we are different in many ways and I think this impacts how we are as a couple.
I often find him unable to empathise and quite insensitive, he doesn’t show emotion and hasn’t been supportive, when I’ve needed him to, which meant a lot of things I bottled up and dealt with them alone.
He drinks a lot and most days, I reckon he has approx 50 units a week and although I’ve addressed this with him, he’s not interested in changing his drinking habits.
I never have any money to myself, (I expect it being a full-time mum) but he buys alcohol all the time (which isn’t cheap) and is paying for a holiday away with his friends in March and I can’t even afford to pay for a dentist for myself. I would get a job but with childcare bills and due to his work, this wouldn’t work for me, we have no family to help with our children either.
I do want to go to a marriage counsellor because I feel like I can’t carry on like this any longer and I want him to be able to see why I feel the way I do.

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
pallasathena · 20/02/2020 22:20

Sounds like your marriage has run its course.
The fact that you can't afford dental care yet he's off on a jolly speaks volumes.
I wouldn't put up with that quite frankly OP. I've never seen myself as a second class person or someone who doesn't deserve to be treated as an important, equally important partner in a relationship and as a consequence, I'm treated with respect by my family members.
Suggest you sort out those boundaries and ditch the idiot bloke... in the hope and expectation of finding someone far more civilised.

Pandamoore · 21/02/2020 03:32

Don't spend money on marriage counselling.
think it might be time to draw a line under things unfortunately

Weffiepops · 21/02/2020 05:27

He should give you money, you'll be better off on your own. Get a really good divorce lawyer.

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