I've also posted this on the family board as I'm unsure of where to post.
This is my first, and a long one.. I was in a happy relationship, until I fell pregnant, he pressured for an abortion which I wouldn't have. We broke up, he made his feelings clear (he wished for the baby to 'fall out of me') and I severed contact. The end.
Until last week, when he contacted (my mum) and threatened to take legal action if I refused contact. I started a dialogue with him, surprised but okay.. I can't deny access, I'm not a monster although I (justifiably) have some doubts. I now have concerns that he is going to expect to turn up after I give birth and just take my breastfeeding child away for days at a time. Which I'm not happy with as they will have a sibling here at home, will be young, will have to travel an hour in the car and the father doesn't have his own place. He lives in an overcrowded house, has no experience with children, and has a history of drug use and frankly irresponsible behaviour. Our relationship was very toxic for these reasons. Perhaps he will surprise everyone, grow up, clean his car and get his own place but this is doubtful to me.
Nevertheless I am not here to slander him, I am simply concerned that he will expect to take my newborn away, which I believe will be detrimental to his/her welfare and need to know what is usually acceptable contact? I am happy for visits, days out etc and then one day when I can see he is doing great with the baby, when they've grown up a little and I'm more comfortable with them travelling we can discuss further. But for now, my main concern is literally having a babe ripped from my arms. My previous child's father passed away, and so I haven't had to do this. Please help. I can't believe the position I'm in, I can't enjoy my pregnancy anymore because of the fear and I'm making myself sick.