Tell me your happy relationship stories please

[catinthecradle88]

Recently single. My relationship had a bit of a toxic element to it so I know it was the right thing but I miss him. He had a bit of a temper and didn't deal with stress well but made me feel very loved. But I now keep just thinking about the good times because outwith the bad patches, he was my best friend. I miss the companionship. It's only been a few weeks but I think he may be dating already so I feel a really shit, wondering if I've done the right thing. Scared about being alone for ever as a single mum in her 30s with 3 kids in a part time, low-paid job.

I'm nowhere near ready to date, I just really need to hear some positive stories so I can believe that this break up is a good thing. We've split up before and had some really bad fights, that's not normal is it? Or was I expecting too much?

I just feel very lonely and sad.

I hear you Cat. I could almost word for word have written your post. I'm just a bit older than you.

It's tough going through a relationship breakdown and I think it's only natural to remember the good bits and not the actual reason for the breakdown at this stage. I know it's how I feel too.

I'm not sure how many relationship success stories you will hear here tbh. It's just the nature of this board.

But you are most definately not alone.

Thank you. It's horrible isn't it. He'll be fine and moving on and I'm going to be alone. Ooops crying again x

I'm actually punching with my guy, he does most of cooking, cleaning, pays his way, isn't controlling, boring.
I really appreciate him :) he doesn't buy me gifts etc really unless it's my birthday but he shows his love through actions, like giving me the nicer plate of food for tea.

My last relationship was pretty dire but not abusive so maybe what I have isn't all that special but it is to me :)

Remember the phrase - it's impossible to be in a good relationship whilst you stay in a bad one. I am sorry it hurts but it will get better and staying with someone who has a temper and is a stresshead doesn't sound like a recipie for a happy enduring relationship without some massive compromises on your behalf.

My own tale is after my ex left when i was 32 - i spent much of my 30's single trying to come to terms with never being a mother. I met my now husband at 40, I have 2 step children and we had 2 of our own so now I am knee deep in kids. We have been together for 11 years and are very happy and it it doesn't feel like the hard work it was with my ex.

Good luck

He sounds lovely Pixi! He did nice things too so I worry it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Thank you Tipsy! Lovely to hear you got your happy ending.

Oh, being happy again is totally going to happen for you. I split from my ExH after 14 years together, split was horrible, he was abusive both financially and emotionally and it took we two rounds of counselling to fully move on. I left him at 34 with a DS working part time and thought my life was over.
Three years later I’ve been with my DP eight months, he adores my DS worships the ground I work on, I am head over heels. He has a proper well paid job, takes me out. Is kind. Considerate and totally understands my anxiety.
What helped me massively was having a good support system. All those people who you thought you’d lost touch with will be thrilled to hear from you again, build bridges, work on yourself and your children’s happiness and don’t forget you’re amazing z

Hi cat. I could have written your post. I was single woman in my 30's ( after kicking my cheating lying pig of a husband out) with 3 children.
I actually said to my mum 'Who would want me with all this baggage!'
Well I want you all to know that there is light at the tunnel.
I met the most incredible man, who scooped me & my children up.
He really is everything that I could ever have wished for.
He treats me like a princess, is kind sweet, gorgeous, romantic, funny, passionate, hardworking & does more than his fair share of house work.
He treats my children as his own & no differently to the child that we had together.
We have been together nearly 20 years & I truly love him more every day.
Never give up hope girls, there really are good ones out there xx

I went through my teens and twenties with abusive horrible controlling men, not realising that wasn't normal because my mother had also been the same..

I finally snapped, and figured it out, kicked out exH and set myself a goal. Don't date anyone unless they make your life better. Don't tolerate any shit, I mean ANY. And stay single until you find this.

I had a blast. Rented out a room, to a fabulous gay guy, got a dog, got my figure back, learned to dance and genuinely loved my life.

Then I heard the guy I major crushed on at work was suddenly single, and it was mutual. He is gorgeous, kind, hard worming, funny and will do anything for me without being asked. That was 7 years ago, and I still genuinely think I'm the luckiest person ever.

Dont settle. Love yourself first. And again don't settle

I hear you!
Not the same but finished an EA relationship before Christmas (I've got 3 kids)
I can't tell you how i have wept for that cheating lying manipulator, but I found a shred of dignity, god knows how, and have kept non contact with him.
I have found a fwb, and they are 100 times better than my ex.(plus have given me a much needed confidence boost)
I am genuinely starting to feel like a free woman.
It will get better for you , life does not have to be like that.
Sending hugs!!!!

Thank you so much! So many positive stories and advice! It's just scary and I just can't believe people can have relationships as good as that as...non-dramatic relationships. That is probably something I should keep reminding myself x

Sorry just had to ask, how do you meet people when you have kids? I can't really get out and about easily.

Have you tried online dating? Or a rare night out when you can arrange a babysitter or when your children are with your ex partner?

Hang in there & trust yourself.

My marriage (together for 15 years) is great. Not perfect, but great. He doesn't mind that sometimes I'm a bit lazy, I don't mind that sometimes he's a bit selfish, because overall, we're good to each other. We sort of share the housework and childcare, we chat all the time, occasionally argue, but just generally enjoy each other's company. If we weren't together anymore, I'd want another relationship very similar to this one.

It's perhaps not as easy meeting somebody when you have children, but it will happen. Well done in ending a bad relationship - you absolutely did the right thing for you and your children and it's left the door open for brilliant things to happen in your life.

OP - enjoy being yourself and single first