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Original poster

Relationship advice

17 replies

Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 12:32

Hi I'm looking for advice on my 4 month relationship I know its early days but I feel very hurt my boyfriend never got ms a card even for valentine's after I told him it was important for me he just said oh sorry I forgot.....its not only issues he seems to have only worries on his mind with money and his son etc he never asks how my day is or anything about my life its always about his own issues he also told me to stop doing nice gestures for him like washing his clothes as his machine was broke r helping him sort out things on his mind I do that as a partner but he asked me not too also backs out on plans we have because of his money worries but no apologies just oh we csnt go now are my hen too

OP posts:
Dinosauraddict · 18/02/2020 12:41

Life's too short, the two of you clearly have very different views on what you want/need/what this 'relationship' is. It's been 4 months, honestly if you feel like this already it's unlikely to be a perfect happy partnership in future...

Original poster
Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 12:46

Yes your correct I feel sad 90% of the time completely undervalued and made feel too needy I feel after 4 months I've a right to air my issues even when I try discuss this he says I'm a crazy person when all I ask is him to show some level interest in the relationship he just replys back I like u and noting more I can say if that's not enough he doesnt know what to do then banks me for a few hours

OP posts:
something2say · 18/02/2020 12:51

It's too early for this level of angst. Watch and see who he is at this stage. He doesn't seem to be ticking your boxes. Thus is who he is and it's not fitting you correctly. I'd bail instead of chase for attention and affection.

anotherdisaster · 18/02/2020 12:57

Don't invest any more time into this man. Its early days so he should be making lots of effort. he appears to be making none!

Original poster
Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 13:00

No absolutely no effort at all I'm putting it all in he wont even go cinema anymore just back to his room for sex from what I see lately I'm so goo to him as I feel its wat a relationship is about....

OP posts:
Bagofoldbones · 18/02/2020 13:03

shelly listen to what he is saying. He likes you. What more can he say.

Where you are and he is are two different places.

He doesn’t feel the same about you. For him it’s really casual where as you want more.

I’d step out of this before you get even more hurt Flowers

Original poster
Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 13:06

Yea its sex for him with no emotional connection to be spoke about as soon as I do its I'm crazy

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 18/02/2020 13:09

Dump .

He is NEVER going to be what you want .

Original poster
Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 14:09

He just told me he doesnt know what he wants he is not ready for love but can be in a relationship if taking very slow I'm confused about what that means he said he do busy to think of anything in a relationship

OP posts:
Original poster
Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 14:10

Said he cares about me alot and if I dont ask questions about the relationship all will be ok do I wait or let him go

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 18/02/2020 14:14

Let him go .
You can be free to find someone .

redastherose · 18/02/2020 14:32

He isn't interested in you. Sorry to be harsh but he wants to have sex with you but nothing else. If you were important to him he would be making an effort but you're not.

4 months in is long enough to know whether its got any future and realistically your relationship hasn't.

Please don't think that if you do more for him that it will make him like you more, it really doesn't work like that. It doesn't matter what you do for him if he doesn't want to have a proper relationship with you then you will only end up being hurt.

End it and move on, you will meet someone who does think that you are important enough to put themselves out for.

SwishSwishSheesh · 18/02/2020 14:59

He obviously just wants a casual sex arrangement, don't you see it? There's nothing wrong with that if it works for you.

Original poster
Shelly7940 · 18/02/2020 15:09

But he saying it's not casual sex he wants that if it was he wouldn't txt me daily that he likes me but cant offer me what I need right now k dont want heavy but I want to know I'm not wasting my time basically

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 18/02/2020 15:27

Stop listening to what he's saying OP, listen to what he's DOING. You're miserable, he doesn't love you or want a serious relationship and is making the most of what you're willing to give- sex, his chores, company when he wants it on his terms. Stop giving it!!!

Sorry OP but if he wants to keep on having sex, won't commit to a relationship after several months, says he won't but will carry on as is- that is casual sex. You're acting like it's a long term serious relationship and he is acting like its casual sex with someone he quite likes when they do what he wants- that is where the clash is. Dump him and save yourself the misery and indignity of competing to try and have him want you as more, he sounds unpleasant anyway.

dustibooks · 18/02/2020 15:48

Sorry love.

DUMP HIM.

He is using you for sex and then calling you crazy? No no no no.

Find someone nice.

AnneKipanki · 18/02/2020 16:05

You are wasting your time basically !

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