Am i being unreasonable?

[Brownie03]

Dp has ds to previous relationship but he and previous partner are in constant contact, texting. They almost talk more than we do. Do they really need to be in contact so much.

They probably don’t need to be in contact so much but they clearly want to be. If it makes you unhappy I think you have to tell him so and ask if he’d restrict contact only to things relating to DS; and if he doesn’t want to restrict contact, agree to end the relationship. There’s no point trying to force him to do so if he isn’t on board with it.

Yes, they are his parents. Don't be the women that comes between two parents. If the conversation is not appropriate or not based around the children, then by all means have a conversation with him, but DO NOT stop him talking to the mother of his child about their child. The only way to co-parent amicability is to keep the lines of communication open.

Sorry if that sounds harsh.

No it is not normal.

If they are in a relationship then yes. If they are not then no.

I do not spend copious amounts of time talking to my ex about child. We talk when we need to. May have a little natter at same time but contact is maybe every couple of weeks.

Its a lack of boundaries.

No it is not normal.
It's not YOUR normal.

Its a lack of boundaries
It's not lack of boundaries, it's different boundaries.

An amicable split, a child and a friendship makes for great parenting. Why are you not happy with it? How long have you been together? Do you trust him? Are you jealous? Do you have an issue with his child / mother in general? Sounds like there is a lot more at play than 'they talk too much'.

No two parents need to be in constant contact. What is the routine like? I wouldn't be comfortable if my partner was constantly texting his ex. If there is a concern or emergency then pick up the phone and call.

DH speaks to his ex every 2 weeks to arrange weekend plans and anything specific that has happened with their DD; she probably calls him on top of that every 3-4 weeks if something has happened or they need to talk something through. I’d find every few days a bit much unless there were some problems or something relevant happening

No I don't think this is necessary at all. Whether its 'normal' is another matter. There can be no reason for parents to be in constant contact at all. My relationship with my ex isn't great but we are amicable for the kids but contact is once or twice a week at the very most.

Would your DP be happy to show you the texts?

Well you’ll have people come on here and tell you it’s great that they get on so well but personally while amicable co parenting is great and should be the aim, you can achieve that without having to be best friends and chatting all the time

How long have you been together?

I've been out for dinner with my ex and the kids. Certainly have no romantic feelings or interest in him what so ever.

She was his first love i guess and i dont come close to that and i know that. He cant have a word said against her (not that i do say much) but in a situation where she is being unreasonable about things i do pass the odd comment. She has her nose stuck in everything we do and needs to know everything which i dont believe she needs to know but dp would never correct her for this.

She was his first love i guess and i dont come close to that and i know that.

Why are you settling for this?