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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Splitting up, mental health?

0 replies

youngandconfused99 · 18/02/2020 10:17

Hi all, I have posted before...

I have just split up with DP, long story short we have been together 3 years over that time he has cheated on me multiple times. He drinks a lot and seems to self sabotage his life.

2.5 months ago I left our home, I couldn’t cope with the constant stress, the cheating, the moods etc.

He got sober, told me he would change, I went back, 6 weeks he was amazing, the kind, caring boyfriend he used to be, it was really amazing.

He started drinking again, and then become cold and distant, he cheated again, so I’ve left and told him it has finished once and for all. First few days he agreed and told me he wanted this to be civil

Since then he’s been begging me for another chance, I am 23, he is 30 - so I feel like he should be more stable!

Last night he told be in a backwards way that he cannot be alone and can’t live without me, and will end his life if I can’t come and be with him

I do love him, but the it’s to much stress for me, I am a people pleaser, so part of me wants to go back purely to make him happy, but I wouldn’t truely be happy as I would feel trapped!

If he could prove to me he was going to change and get help for his depression and drinking, maybe in time we could rebuild, but I know I can’t just go back to passify him as it wouldn’t be healthy for either of us

Just need a hand hold and to know I’m not being selfish?

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