Q for men... about separated ladies

[speckleddog]

Can I ask for your experience with regard to your feelings if you have limited time with your oh/ gf/partner?
Is it a turn off it they are only free a couple of evenings per week and every week their weekend?
Is it too rigid ? Thanks for reading .

I had a 7 year, very strong relationship based around a few free evenings and the occassional weekend....and a LOT of messaging.

Did that satisfy you or would you have liked more contact? Thanks

Anyone else? Would you be bothered?

It's killing us - both of us. Sensibly I waited a bit before committing to move, and then I need to find a job meanwhile I'm like a love sick teenager, as is he! Everyone is different though

I had a time limited relationship - managed to keep it going for 8 months but it became very frustrating.
It wasn’t the only thing that caused me to end things, but it was close to the top of the list.

Did you mean every other weekend?Plus twice during the week? That seems like loads to me.

Actually that's about what my boyfriend and I have (we both have kids). We'd like to see each other more but grateful for what we have.
I think if they're a parent they will "get it." Probably harder for someone without kids.

But then lots of men (and women) appreciate their own time and space.

DP and I do find it tough. We have increased the time now that he spends time with my DCs too but we are also like lovesick teenagers and pine when we don't see each other for a few days. It's worth it though and we know we are building towards a future together so it won't last forever

I generally have every other weekend free and a couple of nights in the week. But I don't like giving up all my free time to somebody else. I need time on my own

Yes every other weekend. I don't want
My children involved in any relationship as we are only separated six months and they are still grieving heavily. I don't think I could also have mans children involved so that's why I posted , to ask if you were keeping your relationship separate from your children, and were tile limited ,could it work or develop?

Yes I imagine it could work as long as both adults in the relationship were clear about the limitations and both agreed it was fine with them.
But in my experience it usually ends up with one person wanting more at some point in the future. Then you have to make a decision

I’ll be honest (and this may not be what you want to hear) - we used to see each other only every weekend, and for us it was shit - actually led to us breaking up (well, it wasn’t the only reason - but it exacerbated the existing problems, if you see what I mean - the issues we had were made loads worse by us only speaking on the phone during the week). HOWEVER- we got back together, circumstances changed over time, we now live together and everything is great! 🤗
Everyone is different. Having these limits on our time together didn’t work for us, but at the same time, we got through it. I presume, at some point, if the relationship continues you would look to introduce your children to him? Maybe a year down the line, or whenever you feel ready?
In summary, I don’t think it’s easy for everyone, depending what you are like, but also don’t think it’s impossible if you care for each other enough. And equally, I have friends where enjoy their space more (male and female) who would love this sort of relationship....

It's better to part wanting more than having it all and wishing you had it less.

After 2 and a bit years I only see my gf two evenings per week and every other weekend,am happy with that for now as Im very independent but as I cant see that ever changing due to her impossibly difficult teenage children and do wonder whether it`s all worth the effort long-term.

Specialized, it depends what you and she want, individually. For some people it would be the ideal relationship but no good at all if the ideal is to set up home with partner. If you and she are frank with each other the picture will become clearer.

Her teenage children will outgrow being difficult in due course, may even leave home.

Do let us know how things go.