Am i being pariond

[Hamstermoo]

Ive been with my partner for 14 years. He proposed early on were not married as he now says he dont want to marry me its pointless. He tells me he loves me but forgive me ive snopped at his messages.
I found out last year that a girl at work had been trying it on with him and sent him nude pictures but tbf she did it to multiple others so i didnt think much.
I accidently found out he has or had feelings for someone else yet i know nothing will happen they have even said nothing will.
Then i noticed he had deleted his messenger app as it wasnt constantly going off and he had been messaging someone who likes him. He said he likes her and what he would do to her in bed. I feel hurt and want to have it out with him but i dont want to loose him. Its not a great time for him either as his job has been lost and he has to reapply for another so quite stressful.

And if he follows through and shags her, what then?

So is it all in his head, just a fantasy, or does he intend doing something about it? Everyone can daydream, and most of us probably do. There's nothing wrong with that as long as he doesn't let it take over his life. It's when fantasy becomes reality that there's a problem. Maybe you just need to talk to him about what's going on.

It's not all in his head if he's telling another woman what he wants to do to her, and she's reciprocating.

It doesn’t sound like paranoia to me OP.

It could be in his head like fantasy. It was late at night he messaged and it only made me wonder as he mentioned her as apperantly he recognised her son when picking up ours. I dont think he would shag her or even meet up with her but i never know.
I dont want to jump in all guns blazing

What?! I would not be okay with that. Disrespectful. And you can't be sure he wouldn't go through with it, with her or someone else. He's already tempted.