Hi, I’ll try to keep to the point (not like me at all)
Was in a 14 year relationship (4 years married) with a DS, we split nearly 4 years ago due to his alcoholism, drug addiction and financial and emotional abuse. We’re now divorced, I have to see him pretty regularly (once or twice a month) for contact with our DS- he’s only 4 and EH doesn’t have him by himself. We’re in a pretty good place. We have the odd argument over financial things or about the fact that we’re not friends so I don’t appreciate him calling me for a chat as he has no one else (he’s stopped doing this now)
I’ve had two rounds of counselling to get over what he did to me. I’ve been in a good place for over a year and have been in a new relationship with a wonderful guy for 7 months.
Last night I had essentially a nightmare that EH and I were back together. It was awful, I woke up on the brink of a panic attack and I still feel like there’s an elephant sat on my chest. Spoke to new partner about it, he’s incredibly understanding, said that as I’ve just seen EH at weekend and he’s demanding more access to DS it’s obviously playing on my mind.
I just feel in a fuzz. I’ve done the exercises I learnt in CBT, journaled it and I still feel wobbly. I’m even doubting new relationship (which is stupid as even my very very protective family have declared their love for new partner) all because he’s got a lot of work to do at home and so doesn’t think I should come see him (all completely adult conversations) but my anxiety has gone into overdrive.
I suppose my question is, to those of you who have suffered through abuse. Does it ever really go away?