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In such a confused state

9 replies

confusedfeelingss · 17/02/2020 13:52

I met a guy at the end of last year, we started as friends and as we've spoken (he lives hours away) it started to develop into us liking each other romantically. Just as we were arranging a weekend to see each other, he became poorly and has been so since so we've not managed to arrange anything.
Things have cooled off whilst he gets himself better and we still chat but not like we were.
I'm hopeful that we can make a go of things in a few months when he's had the all clear and he's better, but he won't talk about it & I don't want to push it with him being unwell.

In the meantime (this has been weeks and weeks) I've met someone through a friend. He's made it clear he fancies me and wants to go for a drink, but as nice as he is, I have no physical attraction to him at all, I know that's shallow and I should base it on personality as well.
Part of me thinks just go for a drink with him, see what happens and see if an attraction develops for me.
I don't want to wait around for the first guy & find out he doesn't want anything & miss a chance with someone I could potentially, maybe like.

OP posts:
confusedfeelingss · 17/02/2020 14:00

I guess I'm just asking what people think I should do.

It could be months and months waiting for the first guy to see what he wants & although I'm happy to wait, I only want to do that if he's serious about me, which he won't discuss at the moment.

OP posts:
Robin2323 · 17/02/2020 14:07

I'd give second guy a miss.
Not because of first guy , but if there's not even a spark of attraction it won't work.

As for long distance man - sounds like he enjoys the flirtation but when it comes to an actual relationship, he gets cold feet - gets ill and cools off.

So I'd bin him off as well and meet someone who can give you want you want / need / deserve, and it's not these two.

MorningNinja · 17/02/2020 14:11

Physical attraction is huge for me so I wouldn't arrange a date with guy #2.

What illness has guy #1 got and how long are you looking at? Are you sure he is definitely single?

confusedfeelingss · 17/02/2020 14:16

Guy 1 - I don't want to say what's wrong, could be outing but he's is definitely unwell.
Definitely single too.
It's just frustrating that it was going so well then suddenly cooled.
I know it's cooled because he's unwell & he needs to focus on getting himself well but I was so happy

OP posts:
confusedfeelingss · 17/02/2020 14:17

Looking at at least a couple of months

OP posts:
MashedSpud · 17/02/2020 14:22

I’d keep dating. Find someone who’s right for you.

Guy #1 has cooled things off and he lives hours away.

Guy #2 you’re not attracted to.

Look for a guy #3 and onwards.

PinkMonkeyBird · 17/02/2020 14:24

Go with your gut. If second guy is really not doing it for you, don't bother!

ChristmasFluff · 17/02/2020 14:40

Guy number 1 is a fantasy relationship until you meet - and if he was so keen, he'd have done it by now. I think he likes the ego stroke, and even if you are sure he's single, you may well not be his only pen-pal/Skype-friend. Cooling off when you are about to meet is classic

Guy number 2 you don't fancy, so what;s the point?

Time to get on to finding number 3.

Musti · 17/02/2020 14:46

I'd forget about them both. If he genuinely wanted to keep you interested and meet you, he'd be a lot more reassuring. Also, why can't you go and visit him? What does he have that he can't meet someone for months??

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