Tv on or off?

[mummaintraining19]

Not a major serious issue but just wandered what people’s preference is for going to sleep?

I like the quiet & dark but my OH likes the TV on until he falls asleep.

Does anyone else have this? Is there a compromise you can come to? I just have to get try and fall asleep but it’s always a shit sleep!

he likes his sleep.

Right, well so you do. Has he explained why he’s the only one of the three of you that matters?

@Pyjamaface

Totally get that side of it! But he can actually fall sleep with the TV off (I’ve seen it😂). Sometimes I think he just uses it as an excuse. If he’s tired he’ll fall asleep no matter what. He normally has a nap when he gets home from work so he’s probably just not tired and bored. But I don’t nap during the day and need sleep.

Weirdly enough I used to have to sleep with noise (back when I was at university) as it was too quiet or I’d hear doors slam & just felt lonely. But now I’m a bit weird with being about to hear my daughter breathing during the night but I can’t hear it with the TV on!!

@AnneLovesGilbert it’s always the ‘but I have to get up for work in the morning’

I know I’m not working at the moment (maternity leave) but I feel like I’m running on no sleep during the day when looking after my DD!!

We need it dark and quiet. We don’t have tv in any bedrooms at all, though DC have a variety of little nightlights etc.

@mummaintraining19

This is the 1st review on amazon , it seems I am not the only one that thought of using them as a mask
You may want to keep them fully charged though !

Generally this is a great product; have been wearing when going to sleep to practise hypnobirthing relaxation! Having said that I can't always get the earphones to sit exactly where my ears are, and I may have chosen for the headband to be ever so slightly tighter (I wouldn't say I had a small head) but it's still pretty comfy to wear in bed - much better than earbuds, I like not having to worry about any wires and I also like being able to use as an eye mask. The other thing I would change is the low battery alert - just as I'm drifting off to sleep in a deeply relaxed state, I get a shouty American yelling "LOW! BATTERY! PLEASE! CHARGE! BATTERY!" which wakes me right up - a subtle beep would be enough!!

’but I have to get up for work in the morning’

“And I have to be in sole charge of our small entirely dependent child. Do you care about her wellbeing? Do you care about me, your partner/wife? Would you rather I was exhausted and stressed or rested and happy?”

You might be able to cope now but if you’re going back to work you both need to be getting the quality sleep you need. Well obviously you do now, but he’ll lose his big man who works excuse.

I’m annoyed for you. It’s disappointing when someone shows themself to be so thoughtless and inconsiderate.

If it were just you and he id think there needed to be some sort of compromise although would still lean towards you as light before bed is actually unhealthy and can't be doing either of you any good (oops, I'm actually typing this on my phone in bed..). But you have a child in the room. Tell him to get his act together and stop harming your child. If he really must then he can watch something on his phone off to the side so it doesn't fall on the bed. Or if not he will soon get used to it and not need it anymore and probably sleep better for it. Who knows, maybe he won't even need to nap anymore if he's getting a proper night sleep.

Perhaps he should sleep in another room?

I hate the tv on. It's the flashing lights as the scenes change and sometimes the adverts are way louder than the tv programme so it wakes me when they come on. Dh can fall asleep with the tv on but it really disturbs me.
I sometimes fall asleep with an audiobook on at fairly low volume, I find it quite soothing depending on the readers voice.

I have a TV in the bedroom and I rarely watch it. Most definately for me it's a no lights/no TV on scenario to sleep. DP who claims to be a very light sleeper 🙄 favours the TV on with the police camera action type shows... So, lots of noise, flashing lights 😒 We now sleep in seperate rooms! It works for me!

Having the tv on is just a bad habit he's developed sometime.

It should take less than a week to break the habit.

Remove the tv from the bedroom. He'll be able to break the habit and you'll both get much better sleep.

Having it on is harmful. It messes up your sleep cycle, increases the risk for depression and obesity.

Many TVs allow you to turn the picture off but leave sound on. That might be better.

Alternatively, devices like Alexa have sleep sounds, like thunderstorm noises, that you both might find acceptable?

Definitely no TV in the bedroom. You could use a tablet or a radio for those times you're in there tidying or whatever. He could also have the radio on instead then at least it is dark.

However I do find it odd that you have banned him going on his phone. How would it cause a fire? It would satisfy his need without disturbing you.

My DP and I rarely go to bed at the same time.

We both like it quite and silent but sometimes I’ll listen to podcasts to help me drift. I’ll wear in ear headphones and set a timer for the podcast. It’s normally off by the time DP comes to bed anyway.

@ChidiAnagonye

Going to bed at different times sounds like a good idea!

@Lalala205

I wish I had enough rooms in the house to sleep separately! My have to put an air mattress in my DD future room so I can have a good night sleep!

Some how they managed to find the noisiest programmes at night🙄 going to have to figure something out or hide the remote from him😂

No TV in the bedroom here, light off, no noise here, unless my partner stays over then it’s a bit of snoring.

What about a white noise machine?

Eyemask and Bluetooth speaker pillow for my podcasts. DH could sleep on a washing line, I have my specifics. We don't have a TV in the bedroom though.

I would remove the fuse from the plug ooooops TV isn't working. Then I'd pull out the whitenoise machine or download a whitenoise app and persuade him to try all the different sounds before contemplating buying a new TV. Good luck

He's being utterly selfish. Why is HIS comfort more important than yours and your DD's? Why should you have to even consider sleeping on an air bed in your DD's room?

@NurseButtercup I actually did something similar. My XH used to put stereo on during the night at high volume and get pissed off with me if I asked him to turn it down. Eventually I gleefully stabbed the stereo in various places to make sure it didn't work anymore. He didn't mention it.

no tv in the bedroom.

My ex had to fall asleep with the tv on and I very much like silence and the room dark.
Somewhere along the relationship I realised I’d given in and mildly gotten used to falling asleep while the tv was on but every time I woke in the night I would turn it off or at least turn the volume down as when I woke it would prevent me from getting back to sleep.
I now realise how incredible selfish he was, in more than just that way. I think if a partner likes background noise it’s easier for them to wear headphones or something so at least the other person who doesn’t want the noise doesn’t have to listen to it? My current partner luckily is the same as me but I would never put up with it from anybody else again.

This would be a deal breaker for me. Bedtime needs to be dark and quiet.

No TV in the room at all. I still get Barry when I recall the time DH decided to watch The Dark Knight Rises in bed on his laptop while I was trying to sleep and that was about 5 years ago!