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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship fizzling out

3 replies

54321GoGoGo · 16/02/2020 22:59

My long term friend and I have not contacted each other for some time. We used to take a few times a week. Our partners had a fall out and things just seems awkward.

I had learnt not to rely on that person in my life grieved in her absence. I have reached out a few times but the response have been we are very busy, I can't fit you in, will not work for me etc.... so I learned not to reach out and friendship have fizzled out.

They have reached out of the blue saying we must meet up... how can I politely decline? I am afraid my fragile heart getting hurt and broken as plans are made but often cancel and no message or contact for months. .. . I worry all the time.... it's affecting me and increase my procrastination.

OP posts:
LordsALeaping · 16/02/2020 23:03

It all sounds rather over-intense, all that ‘reaching out’ and ‘fragile hearts’ getting hurt. Do you actually want to see her and see if you can rekindle the friendship, or are you actually wanting to punish her for not having time for you in the recent past?

54321GoGoGo · 17/02/2020 20:23

Thank you for your kind reply. I really think I am being resentful. And yes it feels very intense and over consuming. Flowers

OP posts:
Pumpkinpie1 · 17/02/2020 20:32

I think you need to think what’s best for you
Would it hurt more to have no contact, wondering how she is or to just not see her any more?
Do you need closure to help you decide , a conversation to express how hurt you have felt by the past actions
I think with you need to put your needs ahead of husbands etc
Would you be happy with more occasional contact or would that hurt too much?
I get the impression you need to let her know how hurt you are before you can move on , either as future friends or former friend

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