Any decent men in there 40s.

[happyandsingle]

Online dating on/off. Am soon to be 41. Really struggling to find any decent men in there 40s.
They appear to let themselves go or are surprisingly immature.
A lot of the men that say they are early 40s but could easily be early 50s looking at their pics.
Has anyone else had experience of this.
There needs to be a physical attraction for me as well but that seems hard to find

You will get mixed responses on here. I'm 44 and have dabbled in online dating for last couple of years. I agree, men in their 40s who are decent are hard to come by. Many look years older (probably lying about their age), many think they are gods gift and think they can get someone much younger, many are just out of relationships so only browsing. I've seen it al. However, I am currently dating someone my own age who, so far is lovely. They must exist, just few and far between. You probably have to persevere I'm afraid.

Ah well, my brother is 41 and single, a really nice guy, good job, own home etc. He’s struggling to find a good partner, at his age he’s finding that the women he meets are usually single mums who don’t want to settle down and do the whole serious relationship thing again.
I’ve told him to try a paid online dating site, what are the recommendations for ones that would suit him?

I’m single, turned 36 a couple of days ago, no kids and I am looking for something serious. Send him my way!

People usually recommend Match or OK Cupid for serious relationships. I haven’t tried online yet but have lots of hobbies, am involved with church, do some evening study etc. I’m hoping I might meet someone that way.

I found that I’ve been approached by men from 40 - 45 since I was early to mid 20s. I think a lot of them do look for much younger women. I was never interested in much older men but I’ve started to realise a lot of the men in their 40s now probably see me as past it .

That being said my brother started a lovely relationship with a woman his age when they were in their late 40s. They’re still together. Both of them had bad experiences of marriage and were single parents so weren’t looking to marry or have any more kids. They are having a lovely life of travelling and going on brilliant dates now their kids are teenagers and young adults.

There needs to be a physical attraction for me as well but that seems hard to find

But there's the rub, OP. I'm a guy in my mid-forties. I had a date about a month back. We had a pleasant conversation for a few hours and when I made my excuses she told me I was a really lovely guy. No follow up, though, as the chemistry wasn't there.

Maybe what many consider "decent guys" just don't spark your passions?

Know this well, I'm 42 no children would happily settle down again(and try for children before it's too late) but I seem to attract people who just want a quick shag, I gave up with OLD when I found myself getting no where. I've always gone for younger men, my husband was 7 years younger than me so struggle finding men my age I like.

My lovely husband was 42 when we met. No baggage- he just hadn’t found someone to settle down with.
They’re out there. But maybe try a club or charity or something to find someone with similar values or interests? Rather than OLD.

I echo the PP, I have found someone who is early forties (I am late thirties) and he is the best! No kids, just never found the right person but he is the right person for me. However this wasn't online

It is tricky at this time. Men in their 40 are in the throes of middle-age-crisis and looking to prove to themselves they 'still got it', trying to catch some 23yo. You need to wait good few years or go for 50yo.

I met my partner at an event I went to that i found the meetup app. It isn't a dating app but an app of all sorts of events and social activities going on in whatever area you live. I was 52 and he was 51 at the time and he's great. Maybe give it a try.

My brother's lovely / engineer / geeky type met his rather lovely wife on online dating. He did get scared by a few man-eaters along the way tho. Poor thing was scarred for life. 😂😂😂 He changed the website he used in the end, I can't remember which one but it was quite expensive to join but the people were a lot more normal.