Looking for advice from the female perspective.
2016 Discovered dirty messages from her 40 year old 2nd cousin etc her replies we can't be together will break up the family.
I spoke to her mum about it she said I got nothing to worry about she just needs more commitment. So I moved in and gave up my life to start a new. Hardly see my family now.
I got swept up in being a stay at home dad whilst working from home. Fit working around when kids are sleeping and in bed. Took on her step son (biological doesn't want to know) who I've always seen as my own. Love him to bits.
I do all the household chores, cooking seeing to the kids. She just sits on her phone. (on maternity but only did part time) And once in a blue moon she'll do something and has to let everyone know about it.
She's definitely a narcissist. Everything I do or say is wrong. I'm not allowed to be ill or have an opinion. Finds fault in everything i do. Even dinners and she's difficult in even choosing what she wants then I get the blame. Constantly moans about everything and needs attention to be on her.
We tried for a baby for a few years and after a lot of stress and tests, finally happened.
I try to be a good partner and dad. She moans that I don't hug or kiss her, but when I try she usually pushes me away and says why you doing that. It has to be when she wants. But it has been hard these couple of years when I know she's messaging him. I guess I've stayed for the kids. She never genuinely asks about how I feel. I've been on anti depressants and lately she'll say to me why do you look miserable and sound depressed, you need to get over your self. I think bout ending my life everyday. I do feel alone. I've lost a lot of weight and none of them realise why. Headaches and migraines all the time. Every day is a struggle I just try to get through them. I know partners moan in general, but it's all the time, I usually just go to the bathroom have a cry and start again.
End of last year begining of this year, Discovered more provocative messages, guess I tried to deliberlty avoid it. and them both saying you are deleting these aren't you. The filth is definitely coming from him. Does make my blood boil some of the things he's saying. Ive stopped anti depressants as feel what's the point.
I've made comments to her about people who sext and emotionaly cheat, and she always agrees it's wrong.
Again spoke to her mother, and she not happy with him and says I need to speak to my partner. She also said it looks one sided and even though she's messaging back he's the one with the dirty text.
It really bothers me when her mum says about me proposing when it's obvious why I haven't.
how on earth do you speak to someone who gets agressive when they're confronted about anything and flip it and make it all your fault then starts crying. Like when she knows she said something that's upset me, she goes off on one saying why do you do that you've got such an attitude problem i can't say anything.
More messages couple of days ago, him asking can we do it one day and her reply that's something that wasn't arranged.
And more explicit suggestions.
And I'm constantly being accused of seeing someone else. (really)
A. I'm not that sort of person.
B. I don't have anytime to go and do anything. My life revolves around her and the kids. I would love to watch a film the whole way through without distraction or even eat my dinner without having to keep baby happy.
Sometimes I do wonder if it's actually me
But a person can only keep up appearances
For so long in a day.
I am emotionally and psyically drained.