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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation

3 replies

howtogetoutofthismess · 16/02/2020 10:46

Good morning, I was just wondering when you have told your husband that you want to tk separate from then in January last year but due to financial reasons are still stuck together as to what’s sort of reasonable behaviour. So we have been separated since January last year I’ve been on the sofa since last April. Even as late as December last year he still thought we could make a go of it which in my world just isn’t an option. The problem is I would like to get on with my life. He is making it impossible for me to leave him and is insisting we have to sell the house but due to having 4 kids just isn’t viable as there is no way I can afford to rent or buy somewhere big enough for myself and 4 kids to live anyway my question is that he keeps scrutinising every thing I do or say , went out on Friday night and was accused of going out with a man; he was up when I got in and the I was home too early surely it’s none of his business and yes to be honest I would like to go out on a date with someone. My marriage was so love less and we spent hardly any time together it’s such a relief for me that it’s over but for him it’s like he has nothing apart from the kids (which he has only been a dad to for this past year) it’s just draining I feel trapped smothered and stuck and although going to see a solicitor next week for the first time (I really was hoping we could split amicably) but surely my life can’t be controlled like this ... any advice on what separation actually means would be great.

OP posts:
nowayhose · 16/02/2020 13:28

Nothing helpful to say unfortunately, but posting to give you a bump so hopefully other posters can help. x

howtogetoutofthismess · 16/02/2020 13:55

Thanks for responding, yes I guess I’m just stuck until I get proper legal advice... here’s hoping the solicitor thinks it’s reasonable for the children to stay in the house.
Thanks for helping

OP posts:
LemonTT · 16/02/2020 14:45

Just start the divorce process so it is real for him. Who knows if you can keep the house. But you must have some idea about whether you could afford it and under what circumstances. Do you know what your post separation income will be or could be?

But you need to decide what is more important, divorce or keeping the house. The later doesn’t always go with the former.

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