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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Give my head a wobble

4 replies

MymbleClement · 16/02/2020 09:44

I've posted before about the slow realisation I was being verbally, emotionally and financially abused by my DH and how I finally decided enough was enough.

After some weeks, he has finally agreed to move out. So why oh why do I feel so guilty? He has used me as his sole emotional dumping ground for years so has no one. I'm worried about him coping.

Remind me of all the reasons I won't regret this!

OP posts:
MymbleClement · 16/02/2020 11:49

He's relied on me to meet all his emotional needs for our whole marriage. Doesn't even really have any mates. I'm genuinely worried he will go into a downward spiral by himself.

OP posts:
category12 · 16/02/2020 12:47

He'll probably find someone else within (upsettingly) short order.

Don't feel guilty - you're not responsible for him.

Thelnebriati · 16/02/2020 12:52

Have you heard of FOG - Fear, Obligation, Guilt?
''Understanding these dynamics is useful to anyone trying to extricate from the controlling behavior of another person, and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.''
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_blackmail

outofthefog.website/toolbox-1/2015/11/17/fog-fear-obligation-guilt

MymbleClement · 16/02/2020 13:18

@TheInebriati thank you, that's really helpful.

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