I feel fundamentally broken. I don't know what to do.

[MyEyelinerAndMe]

I am 32. I've never had a boyfriend, never held hands, never had anything beyond a second date. I have been quite laid back about it all for a few years because I thought it must happen for me soon. I have friends and I work in a busy environment. I have regular hobbies.

Obviously, it has never happened and recently it's all that I can think about. I'm so unhappy and so lonely. It all seems so overwhelming and all I can think about is this being it. Is this me for the rest of my life?

It sounds so silly and petty but I went to a colleagues' mum's funeral and I noticed her husband turning to check she was ok. No one ever checks on me to make sure I'm ok. I don't have anyone to talk about my day with or ask about theirs, never mind look out for me.

Sometimes people ask me and I just laugh it off because I think if I were to even start to talk about it, I would completely and totally break down. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of everything. I don't know what to do or where to start.

@MyEyelinerAndMe , I am 40 and you are well ahead of me in terms of number of dates and talking to people, chin up.

I think if I were to even start to talk about it, I would completely and totally break down. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of everything. I don't know what to do or where to start.

I can make some suggestions which have helped dig me out of a hole, and prepared me for the action I need to take?

Start seeing a therapist, talking about this openly has been very emotional at times, but examining how I feel about things has made me more sure of myself.

Critically examine your social interactions, do you distance yourself from others? For example, do you always deflect compliments, rather than accept them?

Read the dating thread on this forum, reading in detail just how hard "normal" people find the process of dating, especially OLD, seeing their insecurities and doubts has helped me to realise that I am really not so different from others as I felt that I was.

Ultimately the answer is both simple, but very hard to do. You, just like me, need to get out and keep meeting people until you find someone that you "click" with, it really isn't any more complicated than that.

Check Meetup see if there is anything you would like to do. In my area there are the usual social and supper clubs but also film nights, board game groups etc. Perhaps a friend or your mum could go with you at the start.

My friend met her H by deliberately targetting male heavy sports/clubs rather than the yoga and dance she preferred. She tried a Fencing starter class, bouldering, hiking and volunteering as a National Trust ranger. It took her a long time but she felt that just mixing with different age groups and types of people helped her social skills which in turn made her more appealing when she met her H at a pub quiz she went to with some people from the bouldering group.

I know it so hard. I think in many ways it seems harder now to meet people than when I was young and there was no internet/social media and digs were a lot less comfortable forcing people out to pubs and to talk to each other at lunch breaks etc