I don’t want to hurt anyone

[Limbobo]

I’m in an open relationship with two people but both of them say they want to be exclusive. I love them both and don’t want to choose.

What should I do?

End it with both of them and move on. Not much else to be done is there? They each want something you dont want to provide.

1. Do you want to be exclusive with anyone?
2. Which one do you want to be exclusive with?

If the answers are “yes” and “Fred” then go exclusive with Fred and tell George nicely it is over.

If the answer is “no” then tell Fred and George that you don’t want an exclusive relationship so they are welcome to stay in an open relationship with you or they can end it with no hard feelings and find someone who does was an exclusive relationship.

You can’t give them both what they want so someone will get hurt. That is the way it is with open relationships unless everyone is completely committed to the relationship being open. Your partners are not.

What mumoftwoyoungkids said.

Do they know about each other ? What about a poly relationship the 3 of you ? The 2 partners don’t need to interact sexually. It’s a shame to loose 2 people you love

They know about each other. They both say they would rather accept the open relationship than lose me but I know they are not being honest, especially since they both ask questions about the other. I feel like I’ll lose them anyway if I don’t make a decision but if I’m really honest with myself, I don’t want a monogamous or committed relationship with anyone and the urgent set up suits me well right now.

In the heat of the moment, I said I would become exclusive with one. But when I tried to break up with the other, it caused a lot of upset for both of us so I’ve said I’ll think about it.

I’m leaning towards breaking up with both so the pain is shared equally but I’m still hurting people which is the bit I’m finding difficult

A quick clean break with both would be kinder than dragging it out.