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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband acts like my abusive parents

22 replies

waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:13

After advice as after a year of therapy for childhood trauma, C-PTSD, I'm beginning to realise my husband behaves in the same ways as my abusive parents did. No praise, affection withdrawn if I'm not behaving the way he wants, criticism about the house and the kids, mind games about how much I'm eating (I've dared to become overweight and he hates it). The only thing missing is that he is not violent, unlike my DDad.

We've had a hard time with kids illnesses and my breakdown a few years ago so part of me thinks this is his default behaviour when things are crap, just as I get shouty and shut him out. As stuff gets easier maybe he'll re-find his sense of humour and all the other things I liked about him...

OP posts:
category12 · 15/02/2020 15:17

It's very likely you were drawn into this relationship because of your parents' treatment.

waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:20

It sounds obvious doesn't it, but the things I liked about him were how calm he was (not shouty), how independent (not emotionally needing me to prop him up). All this other stuff, the criticism, lack of kindness wasn't there at the start..

OP posts:
waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:22

So what do I do next? Is this abusive so counseling is unlikely to work? So confused, as only just been able to see my parents behaviour for what it is.

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 15/02/2020 15:23

Or he'll get worse.
He doesn't sound very nice.

Lifeisabeach09 · 15/02/2020 15:24

Have you spoken to him? Is he willing to make changes via counselling, etc?
If not, I guess you'll have to end the relationship.

category12 · 15/02/2020 15:26

It was probably more subtle but I bet there were some elements of it.

PicsInRed · 15/02/2020 15:26

Yes, you were likely drawn to him due to the comfort of the familiar dynamic.

The only, only answer is to leave.

user18463585026 · 15/02/2020 15:27

Sounds abusive, therefore no, joint counselling not appropriate.

Have a look at the Freedom Programme?

waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:31

We're not communicating well at the moment, I tune him out because he talks about himself constantly, my PTSD also means I have a crap memory so we're endlessly fighting about whether he's told me something. Last time I tried to talk to him about my parents he was openly sceptical, so I haven't bothered to tell him I think he's the same.

OP posts:
waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:33

Thank you for your comments, it's really helped seeing it written down in black and white. I'll have a look at the freedom programme.

OP posts:
oncemorewithfeeling99 · 15/02/2020 15:36

It’s hard sometimes to tell in these situations. The clincher for me is his response. My husband and I can sometimes be mean or grumpy to each other but when one of us say that they are feeling hurt then we quickly change our ways and work on the situation.
If you told your husband that you were feeling distant, unloved and criticised, what would his reaction be? Would it be to reassure you of his love? Would it be to suggest ways of reconnecting? His response will will tell you whether the relationship is worth saving.

Sparkletastic · 15/02/2020 15:44

Is it possible that he's not happy in the marriage either?

waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:44

That's really helpful, I'll try to explain to him how I'm feeling and take it from there. My gut feeling is that he'll get defensive /passive aggressive, but maybe that's because that's how my mum behaves and so I'm expecting it.

OP posts:
waveygravy · 15/02/2020 15:51

I'm sure he's not happy Sparkletastic but deals with it by moping round or watching TV until the small hours. We really need to talk to each other don't we?

OP posts:
12345kbm · 15/02/2020 16:14

It's really common to end up with a partner like your abusive parents OP. The good news is, you've seen it. I think the Freedom Programme, as has been suggested, would be really helpful.

I think speaking to your husband is a great idea. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. However, him not believing you about the abuse is a red flag that this is who he is and there may not be any progress, so keep your expectations low.

waveygravy · 15/02/2020 16:57

Does anyone have any tips on how to go about a conversation about feelings?, we've just argued about how many cups of tea I have /haven't been brought since getting flu a week ago so need some tips on keeping things calm

OP posts:
12345kbm · 15/02/2020 17:39

You might find this helpful and there is other info on the site that may help.

MitziK · 15/02/2020 19:27

My ex never abused me in the way my mother did. He never held a hot iron less than an inch from my face, he never walked off to put on a pair of shoes and return to stamp on my feet, he never kept a stick by the settee with which to beat the dog if I failed to obey, he never slapped me or punched me in the side of the head, he could be physically affectionate, he didn't mind me having money of my own and was happy to spend money on the house, food and the children.

Right up to the point at which he tried to strangle me, it was never as bad.

everythingbackbutyou · 15/02/2020 20:11

@waveygravy, your post sounds so familiar to me.Please don't bother telling him outright you think he is abusive. If you calmly express your feelings and he immediately turns it around as to why it is your fault, that's a big red flag from my own recently ended 20 year relationship with an emotional abuser. See also the following -

  • Oh, I suppose you are perfect
  • Sorry I'm such a crap partner/dad
  • I'm done talking about this
  • What about when YOU xyz?
  • I feel so depressed - you never hug me/don't kiss me enough/show affection etc.
waveygravy · 15/02/2020 22:04

Sorry MitziK for your experience. It's quite triggering for me to have violence described. I hope you have your own support to help you. Everythingbackatyou the verbal lashing out sounds familiar, but if I'm honest we both do this as there's a lot of unspoken resentment I'm beginning to realise.

OP posts:
MitziK · 16/02/2020 12:26

I'm sorry for that - I describe it because it shows that there was abuse from both, but my judgement was impaired due to the baseline for acceptable behaviour that I'd learned in childhood, so it wasn't until he did something that could have easily resulted in my death that I realised he was abusive too.

I don't keep such stuff secret. It wasn't my fault, I've not nothing to be ashamed of and secrecy and shame/fear of upsetting people was how they were able to continue their abuse for so long. In a lot of ways, I've learned to compartmentalise so describing things that happens is like describing events in a film - I'm away from those environments, I'm not in them anymore. And if somebody can read what I experienced and possibly make connections or draw parallels that can help them, I think I've done something good.

From your OP, you describe behaviours that my ex used that I didn't notice. Because they were normal to me and tempered by the 'nice' things (like physical contact, talking to me, not telling me that I was shit all the time, not hitting me, not going after the cat, that kind of thing).

Do you think that it's possible you haven't noticed before because, to you, it's never been that bad with him?

*

The advantage I have is that, by being able to look back on the childhood abuse (rather than still being trapped in those moments), I can see when something happens sets off those feelings - DP getting absorbed in doing something so that he doesn't speak to me much, him switching on the main bedroom light when he comes to bed after me and I'm woken from deep sleep - he doesn't do that one anymore - that kind of thing.

If I were still with the abusive ex though, I wouldn't have that distance. And he didn't believe what happened anyway - because accepting that it had and that it was abuse would mean admitting what he did was abusive, too.

DP is a completely different person. With his own insecurities and trauma, but fundamentally, he is utterly different from anybody else in my life. We still have ups and downs, but we can both see what is genuinely difficult/upsetting/needs to be addressed between us and what is a legacy of abuse. But then again, I know what would trigger unpleasant feelings in him from his past - and not listening to him or shouting at him would do that, so a concerted effort to not lash out verbally in fear or hurt/self defence helps us.

It's one of the difficulties with an abusive past - the way we could react to things that upset, remind of or put us straight back in that past can have an identical effect upon somebody else. If I were to respond with aggressive words or tone to something DP said or did that caused similar feelings, I'd scare him, he'd react by retreating and not speaking, which would then set me off at the withdrawal of communication/rejection, I'd get louder, he'd retreat more, and so on. Getting that perspective and understanding that whilst the level of abuse I went through was different to his experience, his experiences were just as real and valid, was beneficial for both of us.

Even where the other person hasn't experienced abuse of any kind, they don't have to like somebody shouting at them, not listening to them or, to them, having disproportionate reactions to everyday things.

Being in a relationship with somebody who has a history of abuse, whether with or without PTSD, is difficult because of the nature of abuse and PTSD. That doesn't change the reality of the abuse suffered, it doesn't make the person who has experienced it wrong or lying - it is a simple fact. Whatever the cause of somebody's reactions and behaviours, they automatically have an effect on the person present. To fail to acknowledge that would be unfair to the other person, too.

It's tricky to unpick. That's what therapists are there for. And maybe it's abusive, maybe it's a consequence of your abuse, maybe it's current circumstances, maybe it's a relationship running its course, maybe it's that you are both tired. Therapy helps you decide this and what is the best course of action.

Please be clear that I am not attempting to invalidate anything you have said, though. My initial reaction was 'that sounds familiar'. Whatever the case, I think you would benefit from exploring it further in safe, therapeutic environments, rather than attempting to address it directly with him, as even if he isn't being abusive, it's not his responsibility or within his capability to fix everything - and if he is, well, that's a recipe for disaster.

Take care.

RuffleCrow · 16/02/2020 12:29

this is very common. I also chose a man who was an amalgamation of all my parents' worst traits. And then some. Keep on with the therapy

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