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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

such a mess

3 replies

chocandwine91 · 15/02/2020 13:52

Hello, I'm sittimg here and I'm petrified about the future and what the hell I'm going to do. I broke up with my partner last week as we haven't been right for a couple of years (he cheated on me) I ended our relationship but he emotionally blackmailed me by saying he would kill himself if I didn't give him another chance. So last week I had enough, all he does is work & made no time for me or us like he said he would so we could try & rebuild trust. He got home at 3am & said he was talking to a new customer (female) about life in general & past relationships. I would have reacted the same if it had been a male customer as it was a ridiculous time to get home, I said it's best he he single so he can concentrate on work as he lives & breathes it he stayed with a mate for a week.
I then realised he had paid rent on our place so I said he could come back as it's not fair him paying his way yet I kicked him out but I said we're still over he can stay in living room I'll be in bedroom & we stay out of each other's way. Last night he came in the room & tried to cuddle me kept saying we can sort things out I said no we're finshed I'll be finding my own place soon he seen red, pinned me down on the bed by my wrist & squeezed so hard I thought my wrist would snap. I started crying & he tried to comfort me when I said no he went into the kitchen and popped the powder of 30 tramadol capsules into a glass then poured vodka in & threatened to drink it. I called the police & when they came he said he didn't drink it - it was just to get my attention. He has been cautioned & although I don't fear him I am scared of what he'll do to himself. I live walking distance from work so it's convinient to stay here but I don't see how I can.
I'd just like some advice please, thank you.

OP posts:
Bagofoldbones · 15/02/2020 13:55

If he kills himself - which I doubt he will - it won’t be your fault.

He cheats on you. He needs to go

BobbyBlueCat · 15/02/2020 13:58

He's not going to kill himself.

If he does, so what? Not your problem.

You'll look back in a few years and kick yourself for not leaving when you should have and for wasting what could have been an amazing time of your life.

Just go.

MsDogLady · 15/02/2020 16:41

I commented on your other thread. You need to leave and cut contact with this violent, manipulative cheat.

He previously cheated with a family friend and has now been inappropriate with this new ‘customer.’ After staying at hers from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m., he refused to show you their texts and then admitted the messages were “flirty with kisses.” I would consider that cheating.

He was violent, causing you great pain and making your wrist swell so much you couldn’t make a fist. He admitted that his faux suicide threat was a manipulation for your attention.

Stop allowing this abuser to control and diminish you. Walk away, OP.

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