So disappointed

[Rejected101]

I’m 30 and looking to settle down . There was a guy I know through mutual friends that I had my eye on for a while( a year or so )People joked we could be good together. He was pretty aloof, but attractive .

Anyway he ended up facebooking me we got to chatting and went on a lovely date. After that it all went down hill so to speak, he didn't want to proceed/ didn’t want a relationship with me .

I am feeling so down about this even a couple of weeks later . I hardly ever find men attractive or meet someone who I feel has potential, if I do they end it with me.I’m kind of dreading hearing he has met someone else . It’s like I built him up to be something he wasn’t ?

How I feel is disproportionate and he will have forgotten me already, but I’m absolutely dreading going back on dating websites. Any tips on dating but not investing/ getting over rejection .
I feel I won’t find another man I find attractive very easily. Everything always seems ‘last chance’.

I think you spend too much time thinking about someone, liking them, imagining them and then when it happens it’s just well.... meh. You’ve spent so much time and wasted energy wondering about them and imagining them in your head but it’s not reality - it’s your vision of what they’re going to be like. You need to STOP dreaming and fantasising about one guy and instead just go on dates. Go on dates that you might not normally go on. The reason for this is that you need to see the reality first and not what you imagine. Get to know someone in real life before you have the chance to dream about them for months and months before realising they aren’t who you imagined them to be in your head. This way you’ll get to see quicker who they really are and you won’t waste years craving after someone who really isn’t all that.

Instead you’ll go on a date, realise straight away that it’s going to work or not and then you can move on if necessary