Posted about my narcissistic STBXH here a few months ago.
Lots has happened since then, but to cut a long story short, he's dragged his feet about leaving and has been extremely difficult. But after multiple sessions of mediation, he's agreed to leave at the end of the month.
He's sunk to the deepest depths of appalling behaviour over the last few months and showed his true colours during the mediation, changing his mind at each session, demanding more and more with each negotiation, questioning and doubting the mediator, playing the victim card, accusing me of all sorts, and generally behaving despicably. Every time I think he's reached a new low, he amazes me by sinking even further.
Nonetheless, we are coming to an agreement, basically because I've capitulated to many of his ridiculous financial demands as it's the only way I can set myself free. (I'm the main breadwinner and have been for years - he's rendered himself virtually unemployable through a series of foolish career - or non-career - choices)
Anyway... we are going to tell the children (8 and 11) this weekend. I am holding it together - just. I'm still insanely angry with him but haven't let it show at all. The kids have realised something is up but not the extent of it. We are still civil and polite to each other when the kids are around.
But we'll be switching to a 50:50 childcare model and it's going to be a huge change for the children. I strongly believe they shouldn't be exposed to our problems so am keeping the anger inside, but it's very hard when H keeps pulling dirty trick after dirty trick.
I guess I'm just asking for a hand hold while we get through this difficult week. I'm devastated to be bringing their world crashing down, but I know it has to be done, as this marriage is not healthy for anybody.
Dear people of mumsnet, help me stay strong!