DC father cut contact and DC is asking me where daddy is

[Watermelon50]

My ex has stopped contact with our almost 3 year old DC, 2.5 weeks ago.

Today they brought him up properly for the first time. They said ‘im sad because daddy isn’t coming back to get me’

I think the wording is because he used to pick DC up from nursery most days.

I feel so sad and heartbroken for DC. I don’t know how to explain it to them.

They used to be happy going into nursery and being cared for by other family members, but now they cry at any separation from me and are really clingy - nothing has changed in our routine except the lack of contact from their dad so I’m fairly certain that’s the reason.

It looks like he’s really cutting contact for good. I’m not sure how best to explain it to DC and support them. If he cuts financial support I’m going to really struggle with money.

Go through cms? I don’t get maintenance as my ex doesn’t work or claim benefits, he also hasn’t seen the kids in 3 years. Some fathers are just wastes of space. Why did he cut contact?

I guess the question is what happened 2.5 weeks ago that makes you feel like he has cur contact forever? Do you have contact with his parents, does your dc continue to see them? What did your ex say to you/nursery?

I think what you say to your child depends on the above. If you are absolutely certain, tell the truth in simple and gentle terms with much kindness and love. As much as you probably hate your ex, try and be neutral Stick to facts and ensure your dc knows you William always be there for them no matter what.

I don’t get how any parent can do this.

@PumpkinP I’ve had a cms case open for two years, he quit his employed job and is self employed now to avoid paying. Cms haven’t been very effective and just cite the incorrect HMRC figures.

He was being really nasty/controlling towards me so I asked if he could take DC out somewhere rather than having all contact at my house. He was really angry/annoyed that I requested this of him. He cannot stand me having any kind of boundaries towards him at all. He wants to treat our home like his own, he’s so disrespectful, creates a mess everywhere and talks down to me. The lack of contact is literally because I (politely) asked him if he could take DC out somewhere and he took it so badly.

@FrankRattlesnake none of his family have met DC. His choice. When I was pregnant he said the reason he wouldn’t tell them was that if I had a stillborn it might upset his family.

Every time I’ve mentioned it over the last 2/3 years he’s responded in a nasty way and told me I don’t understand the dynamics of how his family works.

The reason I think he’s really cutting contact is because he has done several nursery pick ups each week since September and none for 2.5 weeks.

I wouldn’t ever bad mouth him to DC I’m just so sad about it and worried about the effect it is going to have