No luck online dating

[Noluck11]

I’ve been on bumble on and off and I’m having no luck . I went on 20 dates and only found 2 attractive . I rarely meet men I fancy , but in real life seem to meet better men on the rare occasion I do .

The men I match with are either 10/10 or 1/10. The 1/10 we are talking scruffy, rude , just odd ( I’m not being shallow ). No in betweens.

I just want a ‘normal’ guy who I find relatively attractive . Where are they ?

Any experiences / tips ?

Have you tried pof / tinder?

20 dates wow I couldn't be bothered!

The issues with OLD is people are expected to find the right person for them or at least a normal honest person but
How many people do you walk pass a day? A week or month?
To find someone for you will take time.

You are searching for a person who wants similar to you which is difficult because men mainly don't take OLD seriously, even if they do want a relationship, they end up acting as they have in the past, treat you as bootie call, ask you for dirty texts and the other guys are Cocklodgers.
To me this seems to be the Mass issues. And your looking for the few real men who probably have had to deal with the women selling sex and ghosting them.

I think we should bring back single nights and speed dating. People need to meet face to face

@everybodyshowlove2020
Thanks , yes it is tiring. I’ve actually met better in the flesh , can get a better feel for the personality then might just wait .It is like a needle in a haystack trying to find a normal decent guy online .

I found online dating utterly soul destroying, it's a lot of effort with no results for me. I did it in early days and was nice met people, but it got popular and too many people and weirdos.

I called it a day about 5 years ago, when was stood up 6 times in a year online dating.

@heresme
That’s horrible . I have been off it for 7 months and I feel it’s deteriorated even since then . Just can’t describe how strange the people are .

You have to kiss a lot of frogs, then eventually you find someone decent who only joined to see what it was all about.

My very experienced advice is to chat for a long while before you meet. Separate the chaff from the wheat. There are a few decent men on there !

The first time I took my self out for a meal on my own and did what I would have done otherwise, but after that it deteriorated and as a result I've got no self confidence when it comes to dating.

Im a guy so you know it's tough on other side that's only reason I say, I've met some one on other avenues, but I've lost any confidence of making a move(this is on me I don't blame people).

People on the websites we really strange a lot you know why they are single they have issues as long as your arm I've lost count of things if been accused of before I've even met the person.

I don't know how it would be policed but a good people dating app is needed.

It's the whole situation that I can deal with.
My ex was and probably still even more now we aren't together talking and sexting with women.
One in particular stick with me because she spoke as if they had a connection as they had been communicating for sometime.
All the while he was sleeping with every night and declaring how amazing our family was.

And since separating he's on bail for harassment which means these women have know idea who they are dealing with and no checks at this point will show you.

Not to scare anyone, because he's the guy who will send flowers and text everyday and call you. He's the sweetest guy ever until you uncover the truth.

So with that on top of all the lunatic I can't deal with it.
One guy reply to me with Bitch 🤣, I was like sorry that's not banter - block.
Another told me how he likes feet!!! I was like we have only text today slow down lol

Good luck 😉
I was single for over 7 years and to be honest I am extremely happy to do it again

@HeresMe I’m sorry to hear that . Hope you can get some confidence back .

@everybodyshowlove2020 sorry about the ex. It is scary really. Some of the people online I see , I know they have girlfriends and I just think wow how dare you !

"I just want a ‘normal’ guy who I find relatively attractive."

Perhaps you inadvertently holding an unreasonable idea of what the average guy looks like, and are actually holding out for a very good looking guy?

Op ... I have come to the conclusion most decent men are in a relationship!
Might be because I'm looking at men 45-55 years old.
I find in this age range they are panicking as hoping for last chance with a younger woman .. or have got slippers on. No in between.
Good luck...

I tried online dating, decided it wasn't for me, I'm not really one for all the talk of sex that a lot seem to want to do. The weird men who don't make the effort to talk to you or ask you questions. It really knocked my confidence and destroyed my faith in men. I also never succeeded in getting a date and got stood up and ghosted a few times.

I have now taken up the gym and having a social life again. Found a man I quite fancy at the gym (who happens to be single) will start talking to him properly (I hope😬) and see where things go. It's much less soul destroying than OLD.

Why would you swipe on a 1/10?

If I walked down the length of a london tube in rush hour I might only find 1 or 2 women attractive out of 500 or so

Surely its normal in life not to be attracted to the vast majority of people you meet? Old is no different really. Well That was my experience anyway

Just thought I’d give you some hope. I was online dating for over a year. I met someone and were coming up to being together for almost a year.
I did however have all the terrible dates before. One thing I did learn that seemed to help was I tried not to rush into getting on that first date. The guys that seemed desperate were just that for a reason. I also think we can almost talk ourselves into someone trying to make them seem like a possible fit. If you know it’s not right don’t waste your time. Lastly chat on the phone first. If I done this early on it would have saved me a lot of trouble. You can find out so much more from a call messaging is just words on a screen.
Good luck

Yes @ chatting on the phone.

I did OLD for years on and off.. but eventually met someone not on OLD. I actually didn't fancy him at all at first. But I fell for his humor and kindness and now I think he is hot hot hot looks wise.

Well I'm 32 and those guys are still no better lol.
Op I'm fine to be honest the OLD stuff was more of an add on than the cause.

It's just an arse ache when you actually meet a good guy they can still be a huge red flag.

Hi OP, I know the normal recommendation for online dating is to meet lots of people to see if the spark is there. However, I take the approach of having quite narrow parameters for who I will swipe right on, and then probably only meet about one out of ten of those I actually chat with! For example, I won’t swipe on anybody who hasn’t written a proper profile, and also tend to go for people who specifically say they have been to university. If I’m not feeling the spark in messages then I won’t meet. I’m sure I’m missing some lovely men, but it means that I haven’t yet had a bad messaging experience and already have a sense of someone’s personality before I chat with or meet them.

For what it’s worth, I’ve now had two bumble dates in the last couple of months, one of whom I started seeing almost immediately and had a lovely time with for a few weeks (he didn’t want a serious relationship but I’m sure we will stay friends). The second I had a great evening with, and have just arranged a second date. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, it has made me realise that there are lovely, normal men on OLD who I have a lot in common with. So personally I think that being quite discerning with who you meet can actually lead to a better experience overall!

Good luck - and don’t give up yet,