An affair

[Jolo77]

Please don't judge to harshly. I had an affair with a colleague, he moved in with me briefly, but has now moved back in with gf. I work really closely with this guy and so save it being awkward for my colleagues, I said we could be friends, he is now really friendly, but this is killing me, as I am totally in love with him. Don't know what to do.

There’s not much you can do. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Move to another job or put your big girl pants on. You can be friendly whilst remaining detached and distant. Whatever you do, don’t let him use you as an ego boost to flirt with whenever he feels like it. Move onto someone who’s not already attached and find the commitment you deserve. X

I know some will disagree, but I wouldn't judge you at all really.
You were single, he was the one with the partner and responsibility to be faithful. I understand women he was off limits so to speak, but I assume that you thought this was a relationship that could go somewhere and not just a casual fling.
I think if you have to be work colleagues that's how it has to be, but I would not class him as a friend , at least not whilst you feel as you do.
Also maybe you should really think what kind of man he is.
A cheater , a user and someone who doesn't care about others feelings, is this really the person you want to be with. Could ou imagine what your life would be like with such a man as your partner?
You can and you will do better, but I guess you still have to go through the mourning process

OP, in December you wrote that your boyfriend of 3 years had been cheating with his work colleague. You were asking if you should forgive him.

Now, 2 months after that trauma, you say that you’ve had an affair with your colleague who was cheating on his girlfriend. You are upset because they are back together and you must work closely with him while forcing yourself to maintain a faux friendship.

How did you justify being with a cheater when the same had just happened to you?

I would change jobs. I also suggest counseling to strengthen your self-esteem and boundaries.

You arent in love with him.

3 months ago you were with someone else being cheated on. In 3 months you have (presumably) broken up with your boyfriend, had an affair, moved the affir bloke in and then he left you to go back to her.

This is ridiculous.

Or is this some sort of reverse?