Feel like a mug

[onedayiwilllaugh]

Lied in bed crying and shaking, don't know why I keep letting myself be a mug!
Split up with (11year long) DP in September because he was messaging other girls,
Been speaking to him again since Christmas because he had not stopped trying and making me feel good again etc, been having sex every day, seeing each other most of the day,
He's fell asleep on the settee tonight and I snooped on his phone because he doesn't put it down while he is at my house and will not put it off silent, I messaged him when he was sat next to me it was a joke, the notification didn't even come through I asked why and he said because he was on a game, when I looked his messenger notifications were off, he's got 7 chats open on Snapchat saying either "received or opened" , he's been searching girls names in Facebook, his messenger most recent is a string of girls baring in mind I would be most recent but I was 4th.
I know he's doing it again and I'm sick of not being enough, I've left him asleep and he will be home before I wake up because that's our routine.
I've made a massive speech ready to send him when I wake up I need to be done now but I'm so weak I don't know how to make myself believe I'm worth more! So frustrating 🤔

You’re not the mug, he is

11 years you have a lot of memories with that person! Ask yourself if he was unattractive and bad in bed would you be letting this guy waste your time and be shady on you.. because that's what I used to ask myself and then I realized it was me who was the shallow one! It's not wrong to enjoy a wild sex life but when you know good sex is all it is, you can begin to take that person with a pinch of salt and accept that they were never 'the one' just the good time guy! It's okay to have a good time guy but keep that person in their category and don't pretend to yourself that it is actually going to go somewhere. Good time guys can be controlling and possessive and yet have many women they have good times with. They get as attached as you do and can't handle the thought of you seeing other people. And they are having a very good time with you. They can have good tines with you for years which can make it become practically a relationship. But its great sex and thats it. Continue to date and be honest with him that you are seeing other people because you want a relationship and that you therefore will not be able to see him when you begin dating someone you really like in order to be fair to the person you are dating. In the end when a special person who shows commitment early on makes it exclusive straight away you will change your behaviour and do what you need to do to protect what you started with this new person because they will be worth it to you and it won't be a hard decision to make. You will cut off your good time guy for your mr right. Good time guys will always be lurking and waiting in the wings for the times when you become single again. Because yes you are worth it. But after being in a relationship and moving in with my partner for a few years my good time guy couldnt handle seeing me so commited to another man for any longer and finally gave up, he knew he wouldnt get any more good times with me again and couldnt bare to watch. He had a good run! He'll be occupying himself with his others and probably more to fill the void left by me! Lol he is also a baby daddy to a few women and the number increased across the years he was my good time guy. So don't be fooled I am just glad I didn't have a baby with him because that is not a happy family life is it. You dont need that. It's a selfish commitment phobe and he isnt interested in protecting his partner or his kids. He's been in and out of work many times and admitted he cares so much about his children but he isnt allowed to see one of them and he couldn't afford to give christmas presents to the ones he does see. This is not a man who is a provider. He distracts himself with what he thinks is his talent which is picking up women. It's a person running away from themselves but you dont want to be caught in the fallout from that persons issues. So see him for what he is and let him only be that to you. Keep your heart open for true love that is caring, considerate and exclusive. A real family man who gives you all that you need. Cos you can have it all and you deserve it all. Xxx

He is not enough! He is untrustworthy and lacks integrity.

His cheating is no reflection on you. His character is weak, so he chases illicit ego-boosts.

You gave him another chance but he chose infidelity. He will never change. There is no need for a ‘massive speech.’ Just tell him it’s over and block.

You deserve better than this loser. Hold up your head and move on.

Thank you ladies 😭 just don't understand why I can never be enough all I want is a quiet life not having to start life all over again at 29

29 is a great time to refresh.
Leave the trash in your twenties. Swing into your 30s feeling good about you, yourself and your life.

@3rdchristmaslucky.

I love this! Favourite thing I’ve read so far this week.

No need for a speech, big or otherwise.
Briefest of text, then block.
And change the locks.

29!! Goodness me, you've got your whole life ahead of you - embrace it and be your own woman!

29! You’re young. Don’t keep on with this guy and starting over in your 30’s/40’s/50’s! Make a change now. All the time you are wasting with this guy you are stopping yourself from meeting somebody who will treat you right. He’s got multiple women on the go. It’s disgusting. Self respect time!

Your alll so right, need to be strong now and not give in 💪🏼

You can do this, OP. He is no prize. How could you even stomach being with him now while knowing that he is thinking of other women and secretly pursuing them?

Please forget him and move on . He is a loser .

29, goodness me and you are shackled to this man in tears? Break free, have an amazing single life until you are ready to settle down. You are young with a chance for an amazing life without this drama....go get it.

You are enough!! Do NOT under value yourself because he is a fucking twat!! I would say you are more than a kind, nice, fabulous person when compared him. Take as a learning curve. No your worth and if a man doesn't met it then that's on him NOT you!!

Exactly that's what I've been doing for the past 4 months now just ignoring the obvious and pretending to myself that even if he is speaking to other people he only loves me 🤯 don't know how I've done it I must not think much of myself at all, need to build my confidence as fast as possible, thank you all I know I am worth more than this deep down ❤️

Ghost him. Don't even tell him you found that all out. Send him a message "this isnt working for me"and detach. Leave him wondering.

29 is a great age to restart, and earlier the better to get away from that prick